How to live after a cheating wife: advice from psychologists on how to deal with betrayal. How to live after the phrase "I have another"? How is life after cheating wife

How to survive a cheating wife

Snezhana Ivanova

The betrayal of a loved one knocks out of the usual rut, deprives moral strength, makes a person experience tremendous mental pain.

The betrayal of one of the spouses is always extremely painfully perceived by the other. By treason, people usually understand physical infidelity. If we consider the issue of treason as such, it turns out that each person puts his ideas into this concept. For some, it is already in the unwillingness to spend time together. In any case, betrayal necessarily knocks out of the usual rut, deprives of moral strength, makes a person experience tremendous mental pain. Adultery is usually understood as adultery, even if it is committed only once. You will not envy the one who experienced betrayal by a loved one. Effective advice from a psychologist may be needed for those who are desperate and see no way out of this situation. , survive the betrayal of his wife and at the same time not fall into the abyss? The following recommendations will help you understand yourself and restore peace of mind.

Every action needs a reason. Cheating wife is no exception to the general rule. I must say that men perceive the infidelity of their spouses much more painfully. In such a situation, they lose confidence in themselves, begin to blame themselves. It seems to them that something serious, irreparable threatens their lives and well-being. A cheating wife is a serious reason to think about your life, reconsider relationships, and remember values.

If there is infidelity, then something did not satisfy the woman in the relationship. For a woman, feelings are extremely important, which, unfortunately, a man cannot always understand and accept correctly. When a wife does not receive enough attention from her chosen one, she can find such a relationship on the side. It is worth remembering that it is extremely important for a woman to be listened to and understood. Unfortunately, men are not always aware of this.

Another reason for systematic change is the character traits of a particular person. Unfortunately, there are windy women for whom it is not enough to experience attention only from their spouse. They strive to demonstrate their superiority to the world in everything. Such a woman often seeks the attention of men and is very happy with their mutual disposition.

Get rid of guilt

Quite often, in a situation where a wife's infidelity becomes an obvious fact, decent husbands begin to look for the reason for such behavior in themselves. They do not know what to do, they are in complete confusion and despair. Feelings of guilt arise after the betrayal of a beloved woman. It seems that the world is collapsing right before our eyes and nothing can be done about it. Competent advice from a psychologist is to help a person get rid of guilt. This is a negative factor that destroys an already difficult relationship in a couple.

How can you help yourself in this situation? A man should understand that betrayal, unfortunately, has become the choice of his soulmate. It is impossible to deny it, as well as endlessly deceiving yourself. For some reason, the spouse did not look for difficult ways to build relationships, but decided to take the path of least resistance. Accept what has already happened. You cannot turn back time, reach a state of calmness when you did not yet know about what happened. Do not torment yourself needlessly with doubts and fears. Let go of guilt. Understand that it was not you who acted destructively in this situation. A person who has resorted to treason must himself understand why he needs it. Sometimes it happens that the wife is not going to tell the truth. But it's still worth trying. Sometimes it is enough to solve some old problems for the relationship to begin to improve.

Take a break

After the betrayal has become known, it is best to give yourself time to cool down a little and calm down. Why is such a pause necessary? If this is not done, it is likely that the deceived spouse will get out of balance. In a fit of anger, you can say a lot of insulting words to each other, take rash steps, which in the end will inevitably lead the couple to part. If you really find it difficult to control yourself, and the situation is heating up, it is better to limit direct contact with a loved one for a while. That is why many husbands are in a hurry to leave home. You can stay with friends for a while. This will give you the opportunity to calm down, think carefully about the sequence of subsequent actions. Take your time, give a chance to use the situation for the benefit of both of you. In most cases, this problem can be solved. Cheating doesn't mean the relationship is over. It makes the spouses take a fresh look at themselves and their soul mate, rethink something. Cheating as a fact indicates that close people have moved away, have ceased to understand each other. Happy couples do not even think of looking for consolation or for the entertainment of strangers. Connections on the side are just a way to relax, relieve emotional stress. Unfortunately, not everyone realizes in time the fallacy of their chosen method.

Talk about what happened

When the necessary pause is maintained after the fait accompli of betrayal, you need to especially carefully think about how to live on. No one can take this important and serious step for you. How to survive change? Don't run away from the problem. You must understand that it is unlikely to be resolved on its own. Be sure to talk to your significant other about what happened. If you let your emotions subside, and did not start sorting things out right there, with screams and scandals, there is a chance of achieving quite good results. Conversations will help to free yourself from oppressive feelings of guilt, pain and despair. During the conversation, try not to blame, not to look for flaws in your partner, but to analyze what your behavior or the characteristics of the needs of the other half led to such an outcome. It is best to conduct a conversation in the form of questions - answers, but they should not resemble an interrogation. Let go of the blame, at least for a while, and you will see how much easier it will be for both of you. The form of an open monologue is welcome, when the husband reveals to his wife the full depth of his inner feelings about how to survive betrayal on her part. Feel free to express your own feelings, make it clear that you are suffering and worried a lot.

Understand that if you hush up the problem, then it will not be solved. A deceived partner will mentally return to this situation all his life and feel extremely unhappy. If you do not say in time the significant reasons for the betrayal, then the offense can remain for a long time. And this does not contribute to the preservation of marriage and strengthening relationships.

Thus, a wife's betrayal is an unpleasant event that should push her husband to think about living together, the ability to understand his soul mate.

One of the sayings of the famous French writer Francois de La Rochefoucauld says:

There are no women who have changed once - there are women who have never changed

And qualified psychologists say that men endure adultery much harder than women. What to do if an inexhaustible source of jokes and anecdotes knocked on the door? How to survive the betrayal of his wife and forget about the betrayal of his beloved? A man is a hunter, he is used to being a breadwinner, and a woman who is next to him must dutifully wait for her husband and keep the hearth. If suddenly someone extra interferes in the family idyll, this deals a serious blow to male pride.

In such a difficult situation, professional advice from a psychologist is required. Men in the heat of resentment can do a lot of stupid things and commit rash acts, the consequences of which will sooner or later be regretted. According to statistics, 90% of adultery comes up, but only 30% of them lead to divorce. In other cases, husbands show nobility and favor, preferring to forgive the traitor and save the family.

It can be very difficult for a person to independently deal with banal family troubles. And when it comes to betrayal and infidelity, the advice of a psychologist is priceless and irreplaceable. Men do not need to neglect the professional recommendations of specialists.

• Stop blaming yourself!

Most men who find out about adultery blame themselves for what happened. This is an erroneous opinion. Even if the husband is far from ideal, lying on the couch all day, not doing household chores and paying too little attention to his wife, it's still not his fault. Cheating was a woman's conscious choice, determined by her temperament and personal preferences. Putting responsibility on your shoulders for the actions of others is wrong. As well as it is wrong to blame the unfaithful spouse for everything. You should free yourself from painful thoughts and stop driving yourself into a psychological hole in the difficult search for the guilty ones. For liberation from painful thoughts, this system has proven itself very well.

• Pause

Don't rush and don't get excited. In the heat of passion, people make many mistakes. Give yourself time to calm down and put your feelings in order. Stay alone with your thoughts, think about whether you want to forgive your spouse or advice on how to survive the betrayal of your wife is inappropriate.

It is worth noting that forgiveness is necessary for oneself. Unforgiveness is a poison for the soul, and to bear it is not only humiliating (for oneself), but also extremely harmful. Naturally, forgiveness does not exclude divorce, because the situation of the situation is discord.

No matter what decision is made, the main thing is to restore emotional balance. Subsequently, we will have to return to important issues more than once. But at that moment time will pass, feelings will cool down, the pain will subside and you will look at the situation from a different angle. In any case, when passing the final verdict, remember the saying of the Indian politician Mahatma Gandhi: “The ability to forgive is a property of the strong. The weak never forgive."

• Avoid talking to your spouse

Talk to your wife and find out the motives for her behavior. As a rule, women do not dare to commit adultery out of sporting interest. They don't just change. Most likely, she was pushed to this act by mental anguish and emotional dissatisfaction. Try to subdue your anger and ask your significant other to talk about the reasons for cheating. This is important to do even if a man has made a decision for himself not to forgive his wife. Be sure to have a frank conversation.

The couple will disperse to different apartments, but the feeling of resentment and pain from the betrayal of their beloved will remain. Therefore, dialogue is simply necessary for a normal life in the future. But you can’t turn the conversation into another quarrel about unwashed dishes and scattered socks. If the atmosphere heats up and the conversation takes a different direction, you should stop and postpone the conversation for a certain time. Psychologists believe that 3-4 conversations may be needed to resolve the situation with adultery, and the period required to forget adultery is 2-3 years. Therefore, men who want to save a family should be patient.

• Change your wife, change yourself

Try to put yourself in the place of a lover. Why is he better? What does it have that you don't have? Why did she choose him? Take a step towards your wife, change your behavior, clear your mind. Psychologically, women are arranged in such a way that at first they cheat with their soul and only then with their body. Opening up to another man with her heart, the wife gets out of control of her husband and completely immerses her mind and consciousness in the power of her lover. A man should try to understand and feel his woman. It is necessary to give her exactly what was lacking for many years. It is important to open your feelings, to show your wife that she is still desired and loved. That woman who is treated kindly and adored is unlikely to want to look for new sensations on the side.

Many men, after marriage, stop paying attention to their wives: compliments, flowers, signs of attention. And in the meantime, no matter how old a woman is, they are all madly in love and appreciate it. Isn't that what they like about a new relationship with their lover?

• Treat change like a disease

Only the disease is not physical, but spiritual. The lover is the virus, the husband is the cure. The more hugs and kisses the legal spouse gives, the sooner the spell of the impostor will be weakened. But don't do it compulsively or with a sense of necessity. It should come from the heart - women feel very well. To do this, start looking for what you like in it. If everything is done correctly, the woman will “dissolve” in her husband and forget about her lover. Continuous bodily contact will continue with the unity of souls. And then, when the couple feels like a single whole, mutual understanding will come. But in order to awaken faded feelings and return love, you need to gain strength and be patient, learn to trust each other and start living in a new way.

• Imagine your life without a wife

Imagine that when you returned home you did not find your beloved woman there. The common joys and trifles disappeared somewhere. There are no more family traditions and holidays. Imagine what hurts more: a blow to male pride or the loss of a loved one. Psychologists say that it is easier for many of their patients to endure resentment and pain than to part with a loved one forever. But don't persuade the woman, don't ask her to come back. Do not lure your wife with beautiful promises and in no case bribe with gifts. Do not forget that they love for nothing, but just like that. A wife should love her husband, not feel sorry for him. Act unobtrusively, without threats and coercion - this in itself attracts.

• Dmitry, 28 years old, site co-author

It helped me a lot at the time. The invaluable recommendations of the author, of this system, on writing out and processing according to this system, all the emerging mental material, gave not only relief, but also the situation turned in a completely unexpected way (positively) ... In general, we build our reality with our thoughts and very often, permission at the mental level, solves the problem at the household level.

But this system is for a complex cleansing of the mind, and you should start it only if you want to get rid of: negative emotions, complexes, limiting ideas and beliefs, negative attitudes and other mental debris. By the way, in the process of elaboration, the face was transformed - there is a connection between the inner world and the face of a person.

• Konstantin, 35 years old, programmer

It seems to me that betrayal does not hurt so much if you are mentally prepared for it. Of course, it is much easier to blindly trust your wife and not fill your head with obsessive thoughts. But life is complicated, anything can happen in it. It is necessary to calculate the moves in advance and think through all possible scenarios. In general, everyone has the right to make mistakes.

• Igor, 47 years old, individual entrepreneur

In the modern world, marriages often break up due to the infidelity of one of the spouses. The institution of the family has lost its value. I think it's wrong to end a marriage because of one ridiculous act. It was a pity for me to destroy what had been built for many years. I was not going to give my wife to some unknown lover who came from somewhere and did absolutely nothing for my woman. Men, do not cut down on the vine and do not burn bridges behind you, no matter how painful and insulting it may be. My family has been restored, and yours will surely rise from the ashes.

• Andrey, 29 years old, manager

I did not know how to survive the betrayal of my wife. Life turned upside down. I could not find a place for myself, I could neither drink nor eat. But a few weeks later, my attitude towards the situation changed. I realized that what happened was my fault. After eight years of marriage, it began to seem to me that no one needed a spouse except me. I stopped giving gifts to my wife and making compliments, I preferred friendly gatherings in the bar in the evenings in the bosom of the family.

My woman found the missing emotions in the arms of another man. Oddly enough, but I am somewhat grateful to my opponent. After all, if it were not for the betrayal, my wife and I would have simply divorced and forgotten about each other. And so, our feelings got a good shake-up. All this was a wonderful lesson for both of us. We prefer not to remember betrayal anymore, we spend a lot of time together and try not to forget about such concepts as love, loyalty and understanding.

Women's view of men's problems

Despite the fact that a woman is a symbol of male horns, one cannot do without a female look in this situation. The fair sex knows firsthand what actions forgotten wives expect from their husbands. Their advice on how to survive a cheating wife may be more useful than the advice of experienced psychologists:

• Valeria, 28 years old, sales assistant

I cheated on my husband for several years. Almost from the first days of marriage, quarrels, reproaches, scandals began. We dispersed and converged again, ran in circles, tormented ourselves and the children. The lover was my outlet. But after some time, I realized that I love my husband and do not want to leave. After long and difficult conversations, we decided to continue living together. It took a lot of effort and effort to believe in the sincerity of our feelings and establish a good relationship, but now understanding reigns in our family.

• Natalia, 42 years old, notary

I am a successful woman who knows her worth. Recently, my husband not only stopped paying attention to me, but began to assure me of insolvency and unattractiveness. To the surprise of my husband, there was someone who appreciated my beauty. Our family happiness was saved by the pangs of conscience on my part and the recognition of mistakes on the part of my husband. I advise men to cherish their woman and appreciate the time spent next to her.

• Christina, 34 years old, housewife

In family relationships, I did not dare to commit adultery, but I was within a hair's breadth of it. I don’t know what saved me, but it was unpleasant for my husband to find out that I was one step away from betrayal. Despite the inconsistency of the situation, our family life began to improve. In order for wives not to have a desire to pay attention to other men, spouses should do unexpected things for women, give gifts for no reason and give compliments. One must admire the wife, and then she will idolize her husband.

If the betrayal still happened, you need to come to terms with what happened. You need to understand that time will not turn back and what happened will remain happened. All that can be done is to work on the mistakes. And how to live on: return lost love or start from scratch, each deceived husband decides on his own.

If a man finds out about the betrayal of his wife, no one will envy him. Psychologists also cannot claim that the feelings and experiences that overtake a man in such a situation will pass painlessly for him. If the betrayal of his wife is recognized, then the man inevitably faces a choice: leave or stay? How to live on after, the men's magazine site will consider in more detail.

Cheating is one of the painful situations that a person can face. It is impossible to reliably say who hurts more - a man or a woman, when a loved one betrays. We can say that everyone's soul hurts when it is found out that the other half is cheating. Moreover, the understanding of the fact that treason did not happen once and out of stupidity adds even more, but happens all the time, on a sober head.

The wife is cheating - the strongest blow to pride and to the whole worldview of a man. If before that he loved and trusted his wife, then we can say that after her betrayal, he will no longer be able to experience such feelings. Cheating is an indicator that the other half is already unhappy with their partner. This means that a man is bad in something, does not hold out, does not satisfy. The most terrible news may be that the husband is simply bad in bed, because it still hits his male pride.

Cheating wife causes a lot of internal experiences that instantly overwhelm a man. However, this does not relieve him of the need to make a decision: to part with his wife in order to start a new life, or to stay in the family, while forgiving the traitor? Psychologists give the most important recommendation - when making a decision, think exclusively with your head. Not mothers, not friends should advise what to do in this situation, but you personally must understand your desires and readiness, how to live on.

How to deal with feelings?

The first thing a man will face after the news that his wife is cheating is his personal feelings. Feelings will overwhelm him so much that he will not be able to think about anything else, work and concentrate. This is quite normal, since this event is significant for a man. How to deal with your own feelings?

1. You should not distance yourself from them. Of course, your feelings are hardly full of love and desire to bring good to all people. However, suppressed aggression and hatred will not bring any benefit. It is better if a man can completely isolate himself from people for a couple of days, be alone and even go away from home in order to allow himself to worry, to be with his thoughts and desires, to express all his aggression without harm to others.

You can take a two-day vacation to go to the sea or somewhere in nature, so that if necessary, allow yourself to destroy, beat, pour out all the aggression. What else needs to be done during this time? Not only throw out the emotions that have overwhelmed, but also come to your senses, hear your own desires and, based on them, decide what to do next with the relationship.

You should make a decision solely on the basis of your own desires, and not the position of "What will other people think?". You live your life, not other people. Allow yourself to live the way you want to and make other people respect your choice.

1. , no wife. The lover is not to blame. He may not have been aware of your existence. He could just not resist a beautiful woman. By and large, the situation was created by your spouse, who, if she did not want to cheat on you, would not have slept with another man. The lover does not need to take revenge, because you could have been in his place.

As for the wife, you also do not need to waste your strength on her. Your task is to decide: stay with her or break up? Don't waste your energy on something else. Or you will stay with your wife, which will require you to forgive, not revenge. Or you will leave your wife, which will require you to focus on other people in order to safely forget your wife.

A man can be understood, especially his feelings. It turns out that more than 15% of all marriages occur at the initiative of men, because their wives cheated on them. Can you imagine how many men have gone through the same thing that you are going through? Understand that you are not the only person on the planet who has gone through infidelity and solved this problem. You will have to spend some time on this, in one day you will not eliminate all the unpleasant moments. However, remember that it will soon become easier for you, no matter how you decide to live on.

Is it worth keeping a family?

A man inevitably faces a dilemma, is it worth keeping the family or still divorcing his wife. Each man will have to make a decision anyway. Let's just turn to practice.

About 80% of families are preserved after female infidelity, but already within 5 years they still break up. At first, the family is preserved only because there are already common children. However, husbands soon realize that they cannot forgive, touch, trust, and generally see those women who deceived them.

For what reasons does the preservation of the family not lead to its longevity?

• The wife continues to cheat because she sees that her husband will forgive her.
• The wife refuses to have new children from her husband, which further strengthens his doubts.
• The wife becomes pregnant by her lover.
• The child of the spouses will take the position of the father, which helps the husband to divorce his wife.
• The opinion of relatives and friends of a man who will begin to accuse him of softness.
• The increase in family scandals, her husband's passion for alcohol, the inability to forget about the past and the emergence of new reproaches.
• Decrease in the material income of the husband or improvement in the financial position of the wife.
• Cheating husband, who also wanted to walk to the left.

If a man decides to save his family, then this is not about resigning him to his wife's infidelities, but about the upcoming work that both spouses should do. If the wife does not apologize, does not repent, does not try to return to the family, then the man should not keep the family either. You should not be humiliated and even more lose respect for yourself.

Relationships after cheating

If a man decides to stay in the family, then he should not expect to be able to instantly forgive his wife. He will suspect her for a long time, not trust her, hate her for what she has done. However, if both spouses decide to live together after infidelity, then certain adjustments should be made to their relationship:

1. Never reminisce about the past.
2. Solve all the problems that arise in the family. Everyone expresses his opinion, has the right to express his attitude to what the partner says or does, while remaining heard.
3. Add more humor, positive, romance, understanding and support to the relationship. Try to smooth out conflicts and improve the lives of all family members.

A man shouldn't expect that quickly. This will take a lot of time. However, all this time you should remain honest. If you have not yet forgiven your wife, then just tell her about it. However, do not say this so that she will atone for your sins. Just state the fact, but do not expect anything from your wife, but just talk about the fact that time must pass.

What should a man do after cheating?

1. Do not show the importance of your wife to you. Let her express her feelings towards you. If she wants to be with you, then let her come to you to put up and ask that you stay with her. If she doesn't, then maybe it's time to break up.
2. Be categorical. If the dispute has reached a dead end, you have stopped hearing each other, then you need to get up and leave, and not continue the conflict.
3. You can make your wife jealous. However, this advice should not always be used. If a woman, after her jealousy of you, again inflames with a desire to be with you, then you can act accordingly. However, if jealousy will lead to the exact opposite result, then it should not be called.

If you decide to leave your wife, then stay with your opinion, no matter what the wife says or does. And she will try to get you back, because she sees that you have decided to break up with her.

If you decide to leave...

The wife cheated, after which you decided to leave. Now a new life begins, which should be followed if you want to forget about everything and start a new love relationship with a woman who interests you. To do this, do:

1. Work or hobbies. Immerse yourself in some business with your head completely.
2. Shaping your environment. If you need to break up with some people, break up. If you need to connect with someone, do it. Still do not avoid new acquaintances with both men and women. All this will allow you to enter a new life.
3. With my feelings. At first, do not block anything in yourself. If you remember the former, get angry, worry, then allow yourself these feelings. Over time, you will get tired and begin to feel other emotions.
4. Money. A man's self-confidence is enhanced if he has finances that he can spend on whatever he wants. You can do this while you are single and while you are just changing your life.

We start a new life

Men don't have much patience. I want to immediately forget about the ex-wife and her betrayal, as soon as the man broke up with her and began a new life. However, not everything is so smooth. You will have to live with your negative experiences and feelings for some time. However, you can contribute to their speedy passage.

Write a letter to your wife. Express in it everything that you think about her, how you remember her, what worries you. Write whatever comes to mind. Do not limit yourself in expressions and emotions. Then burn the letter. You can also write letters in the following days, setting out in them everything that you would like to say to your ex-wife. Do this until the emotions let you go.

Your task in a new life should be to let go of all grievances and claims against your wife. You should generally forgive your wife so that any memories of her do not bother you. Forgiveness does not mean wanting to go back to your wife. To forgive means to stop blaming her for anything and to be generally interested in her personality.

Outcome

What a man gets in the end depends on his own decisions. That is why they should be coordinated with their own desires and feelings. If you are ready to forgive your wife and continue to live with her, then follow this algorithm. If you have cooled off towards your wife, you understand that you cannot treat her normally, while she herself does not try to restore family relations, then it's time to leave.

Your wife cheated on you….. Yes, it happens. Both women and men change, and there is no discovery in this. Unless for you, who did not expect this, it really can be a revelation. And what to do then? How to live on if the wife has changed?

How does it happen?

Everyone knows perfectly well how treason occurs, or rather, what it consists of. It's just that another man appeared in your wife's life who behaved in such a way that it made her forget about honor and change her spouse.

What could it be? Psychologists identify the following reasons that most often make women decide on this:

You should definitely pay attention to whether she regrets it or not. If you both want to save the relationship, then the first step, getting rid of lies, has already been taken. Next is your turn. Forgive your wife or end the relationship? This decision cannot be made in a rush, you need to think carefully and weigh everything.

First aid

First, don't lose your head. Don't throw tantrums, don't break dishes, and don't raise your hand against your wife. After learning this terrible news, do not cut off your shoulder: listen to your beloved woman, ask what happened and what it is connected with. Maybe you are the problem, maybe not. In any case, don't panic. Try setting yourself up like this:

Of course, if after a long analysis you realize that you cannot forgive this person, then only time can help here.

Well, you have calmed your nerves, listened to your wife and are ready for the most difficult part - analysis. Answer a few questions first:

1. Why did your wife cheat on you? Perhaps she lacked attention, she was offended, or just wanted to avenge something? Maybe she has long been bored with family life with you, and she is looking for a way to start all over again?
2. Do you need it? Think: what if this is a completely natural result, and you, in fact, deserve to be cheated on? It is not necessary to keep a family just for the sake of children or in order not to be alone. This is wrong and will do more harm than good.

If a woman is torn between two men, do not rush to condemn her for this. Who told you that you should give up your wife without a fight? Prove to her that you can still make her happy!

How to forgive a woman?

It's good if you decide not to get divorced and not to destroy the relationship, if you defeated your opponent and stayed with your wife alone. However, you must admit that the wound received after treason will not pass soon. How to get rid of it? How can you make the relationship trust again?

The first step is to understand that a person close to you would not give you such a “surprise” without any reason. Of course, of course, if you have not noticed her sadistic tendencies before. Think about what forced your wife to do such an act, and only after that delve into the analysis of your own actions. Of course, admitting to yourself that you did something wrong and that your behavior was not ideal is not so easy, but you have to take it for granted. None of us are perfect and everyone makes mistakes, including you. Find the root of the whole problem, and then everything else will fall into place.

Of course, you should not take revenge and cheat on your wife in return. Firstly, such behavior does not do you credit, and secondly, playing "an eye for an eye" is a deliberately failed business. Yes, and betrayal will not remove a stone from your soul, will not fix all the mess in your life, and certainly will not leave a pleasant aftertaste in the heart of the third person involved in your family problems.

Good luck! Stay strong!

The question of how to survive the betrayal of his wife, unfortunately, is relevant for many men. The betrayal of a woman is always a strong stress for a man, no matter how stable a person is by nature. For most representatives of the strong half of humanity, the betrayal of the spouse initially causes strong anger, which arises against the background of a feeling of humiliation. But, it is unlikely that such a reaction, in the case when the wife cheated, can be called reasonable. You need to understand that only in a calm state will it be possible to make the right decision about how to live after the betrayal of your wife.

Initial actions

If the wife has cheated, then one should not immediately arrange scandals or showdowns in a fit of rage and anger. This will only aggravate the situation and certainly will not help to get an answer to the question of how to live on after the betrayal of his wife.

If the spouse is caught cheating, then not every man is ready for an instant break in relations, especially when there was strong love in life before. Therefore, in order to maintain opportunities for resolving relations after the wife has cheated, the following is recommended:

• It is necessary to find an opportunity to retire for a while. Do not rush to tell your friends that your wife is cheating, trying to find support and get an answer to the question of what to do if your wife cheated. It is up to the man who loves to decide how to forgive his wife's betrayal and live on. And if he fails, then a break in relations is inevitable.
• Being in solitude, after the wife has been caught in treason, one should not suffer and fill one's grief with alcohol. To understand why the wife is cheating, you need to calmly analyze the current situation in order to understand what prompted her to betray. You need to sincerely answer the question of how much you love the woman who has changed and whether you can forgive.

Causes of betrayal

Of course, in each case, the reasons for betrayal may be different. But in psychology, the main reasons why wives cheat are distinguished, these are:

• Passion and love of a woman. Moreover, these feelings cannot be compared with love, since they are fleeting and, most often, are caused by everyday sympathy.
• The desire of the wife to take revenge on her husband for the offense, which is possibly related to male infidelity, which you carefully tried to hide from your soulmate.
• Lack of attention and self-admiration. Wives with whom husbands spend little time feel acutely useless and often seek to find entertainment on the side.
• Sexual dissatisfaction.
• Momentary weakness against the background of female natural emotionality. In this case, the woman immediately becomes ashamed of her act, and she begins to repent and dream of forgiveness.
• A personal crisis, which most often pushes strong business women to betray.
• An unexpected meeting with the former and surging memories.

Analyzing what happened, you should pay attention to the environment of your soulmate. Maybe she was pushed to a rash act by a friend or relatives.

It is very important to try to find the answer to the question of why the betrayal happened. This will allow you to understand how to cope with the betrayal of your wife, and make the right decisions to normalize your life together. It should be remembered that it is much easier to destroy relationships than to restore them later.

How to deal with the problem

Psychology gives a lot of useful advice on how to save a family after a cheating wife. But, unfortunately, they are not always possible to apply to a specific life situation. Even an experienced psychoanalyst is sometimes helpless if a man cannot forget the betrayal. When a man loves, he will never wonder if it is possible to cheat on his wife in revenge. He will try to understand her and analyze how she behaves after her misconduct.

But, despite this, the following advice given by psychology should be taken into account:

• You can’t make hasty decisions and categorically declare: “I can’t forgive for treason.” If you did not understand the situation and did not try to understand your wife, then in the future, most likely, you will have to regret it.
• Having calmed down as much as possible, you should sincerely talk with your soulmate about what happened, and try to listen to her explanations. This will allow you to draw the right conclusions and understand what to do.
• If the betrayal is explained by the emergence of sincere love feelings for another man, then you do not need to keep the woman. Say you forgive and forget as soon as possible. Of course, this is not easy, but only with this approach you can start a full life after the betrayal of your wife.
• If the beloved repents and admits that she behaved terribly, then the reason for the betrayal still needs to be found out. This will allow a man to calm down psychologically and not be tormented by the question of how to live with his wife's betrayal.

The above tips can help solve the problem only if the man loves. In this case, he will not begin to wonder if there is life after betrayal, because the preservation of the family is his number one task. He will have no doubts whether it is possible to forgive his wife's betrayal, he knows that he just needs to start building a joint relationship anew.

When there is no chance to solve the problem

But even if a man loves, then he is unlikely to be able to solve the problem when he realizes that his wife is constantly cheating. To the question of what to do if the wife is cheating, the answer is unequivocal - it is necessary to leave. It is necessary to understand the difference between event actions, which are expressed in the following phrases: “my wife cheated on me” and “my wife cheats on me”. You can forgive and understand only once, because a loving woman will never hurt her loved one again.

In psychology, a number of factors stand out that push a man to divorce after he has learned about infidelity:

• A natural thirst for revenge against the background of mental suffering that only a strong man can handle. It is important to remember that no matter how painful it is for you, the barrier of loyalty on your part cannot be broken.
• After conditional forgiveness, family relationships are filled with reproaches and scandals. And after a while, the understanding comes that the question of how to survive the betrayal of his wife remained unresolved.
• Relatives who believe that it is impossible to forgive betrayal, as this humiliates the dignity of a person, can push for parting.

The family can only be saved if the deceived spouse loves and is sure that he will be able to cope with internal grievances. So that he does not see or hear in the future, and no matter how his wife behaves, he must completely trust her. That is, a woman should feel free, only with this approach can family relationships be completely normalized.

How to repair a relationship after cheating

After the betrayal of the second half, a man often becomes depressed against the background of severe stress. This is a very dangerous condition that can harm your health in general. The question of how to get out of depression after a cheating wife is relevant for different situations. Recovery will be required, both after a break in relations, and in cases where a decision is made to try to start building relationships from scratch.

Using the advice of a psychologist, you will be able to quickly understand how to survive the betrayal of your wife and restore relationships in the shortest possible time. The first thing you need is to convince yourself that the betrayal of the woman you love was an accident, and there can be no repetition. To do this, you need to strive to discard all thoughts about what happened. To do this, for example, you can load yourself with additional work or seriously go in for sports. Psychologists say that physical activity can cure mental pain.

For a while, you need to let go of the situation and, communicating with each other, close your inner personal space so as not to accidentally cause pain. Believe me, during this period there is something to think about alone. It is very good if you decide to go on vacation for a few days without your spouse. On the one hand, this will indicate that you completely trust her, and on the other hand, you will be able to test yourself on whether you can cope with jealousy. Such a feeling is very dangerous, as it does not allow building trusting relationships and destroys a person spiritually and physically.

Remember that old relationships are no more, so you need to carefully build new relationships step by step, taking care of your soulmate. After all, a beloved woman always worries no less than her husband about what happened. Every day try to communicate more and more on a variety of topics, but disputes should be avoided. When the understanding comes that you are still very good together, then forgive all insults once and for all and live happily for the rest of your life.

If the spouses are wise people, then it will take a little time to restore relations. It is necessary to fix them with a joint trip, which will resemble a "honeymoon". Fall in love again with your other half and surround her with attention. A romantic atmosphere when spending time together will forever cross out all the bad things that happened to you and resurrect your former passion.

Only a strong loving man can forgive betrayal, who can understand that the other half has changed by an absurd accident, from which no one in the modern complex world is immune. All you need to normalize a relationship is to understand how to behave. . The main thing is to learn to trust each other again, and not get caught in the net of jealousy, which turns family relationships into hell.