Psychologists and philosophers convince us that "here and now" is an important life principle. To be present in the current moment, to practice mindfulness, to be in contact with oneself, other people and the world… Meanwhile, we often observe just the opposite: thoughts wander in no one knows where, and actions are performed “on autopilot”. You probably caught yourself sliding your eyes over the page, but did not understand a word of what you read, or ate without tasting the food.
And although the idea of living in the present sounds very attractive, it seems that this state is not easy to achieve? “Not at all,” objected Gestalt therapist Galina Kamenetskaya. - Firstly, all children experience this state, and those who had adoptive parents retain this ability for life.
Secondly, we sometimes experience it without any effort, for example, when meeting a congenial person or a work of art - we recognize this experience as an exciting feeling of freedom, completeness and wholeness. When we feel good, we tend to replicate that experience. But something prevents you from staying in this state continuously. These are things that have not been completed in the past and feelings that have not found a way out.
There and then
Everyone "here and now", in the words of Galina Kamenetskaya, has a brother - "there and then":
“In the past, a situation created a tension that could not be resolved there and then. For example, the child felt offended and could not find protection from his parents. Repeating, this experience has become fixed, and now every time an adult feels hurt, he simultaneously experiences defenselessness.
Therefore, he cannot declare his interests: he has the means for this, but he does not seem to know about it, he does not have contact with himself as an adult. In the course of psychotherapy, the situation “here and now” is modeled: the therapist creates it due to his inclusion and acceptance of the client. And it becomes the resource that the client needs to allow himself to be aware and fearlessly express feelings, whatever they may be (for example, anger at parents), gaining new experience.
Therapy, spiritual practices: yoga, meditation, prayer, art - different paths to a more holistic "I"
Does this mean that we have no other way than psychotherapy to approach the experience of the present?
“This is an effective, but not the only way,” says Galina Kamenetskaya. - If I find that there is an obstacle between me and the experience of my wholeness, I thereby take a step towards re-establishing contact with myself. I honestly tell myself: I have a difficulty, and I can solve it in different ways. Therapy, spiritual practices: yoga, meditation, prayer, art - all these are different paths to a more holistic "I" and a living perception of the present.
It is the present that gives us the opportunity to choose and act.
Between past and future
Where does the present begin and end? These boundaries are changeable. Before leaving the house, the zipper on our jacket jams, and we nervously pull it - this is undoubtedly real. But the trip planned for next month, and the memories of a recent date, also belong to the present.
“The present is that period of time with which we work, which we can influence,” emphasizes the philosopher Artemy Magun. - There is a past that is fixed irrevocably, with which we can do nothing. But at the same time, a whole series of incompleteness remains, and the present appeals to them.
We are not able to resurrect our great-grandfather, but we can write his story so that he is remembered, we can give birth to children and pass on our memory of him to them. “The present is that mode of reality in which we pick up the possibilities of the past and throw them into the future as tasks, plans ... and fears too,” the philosopher continues. “For example, we remember that there was a Holocaust, and today we are taking action to prevent this from happening again.” Moreover, the more distant the future, the less it depends on us: it is impossible to say with certainty that in 20 years there will be no war.
Pleasure cannot be a goal: it arises only as a side effect in the process of realizing larger goals.
But the near future - our idea of it - affects what we are experiencing now. When we are passionate about an interesting task and see the prospects for its solution, then it becomes the measure of today's life.
It turns out that the present has different levels! Large projects create a context that allows you to more fully live the events unfolding at the moment. “If we have a large scale, then small scales become available to us,” the philosopher notes.
The reverse is also true: if we try to live only in the moment, then it will slip away.
The well-known call Carpe diem - "Seize the day" - sometimes leads not to the expansion, but to the narrowing of the horizon. Artemy Magun says that already in Ancient Greece the school of the Epicureans taught: a hedonist must be an ascetic, avoid pleasures in order to appreciate them more - otherwise they will turn into suffering.
Pleasure cannot be a goal: it only occurs as a side effect in the process of realizing larger goals.
The power of surprise
Our experience of time is conditioned not only by personal experience, but also by culture. “It has three main types: the culture of the body, feelings and consciousness,” says Vladimir Baskakov, a psychologist and creator of the thanatotherapy method. “Russia, despite its geographically intermediate position between the West and the East, is too close to the West with its dominance of intellectualism for the practice of being “here and now” to retain its original meaning for us.” The East is attentive to repetitions, to reproduction, while the West seeks to achieve and overcome what has already happened.
“A simple observation shows that we are rarely present in the present of our own free will,” continues Vladimir Baskakov. “More often we are thrown there by extreme or non-standard situations.” For example, when a subway train stops in a tunnel, the driver says, “Please remain calm. The train will leave soon."
Where does anxiety come from? “This is a mild degree of fear that arises from a collision with the present,” explains the psychologist. - This is a reaction to unpredictability, and it is an inherent property of the present. Fantasies and neurotic reactions are predictable. But reality is not. We can't say for sure when the train will move, and we don't know what to do if things don't go according to plan."
Bygone childhood is the most striking example of the experience of "here and now"
Meanwhile, only the presence in the present allows us to fully feel alive. And since one of the sides of the present - reproduction, repetition - for most of us, due to culture and upbringing, turns out to be closed (boring, uninteresting), the other side becomes more attractive: suddenness, extremeness. Fights and fires gather onlookers.
“The inherent unpredictability of the present attracts us, becomes very interesting when it does not concern us personally. Near it, we feel more alive, ”the psychologist develops the idea. It can be said that we are touching the “now”, but not the “here” - because this is not happening to us. And so the thirst to be alive remains unquenched.
But instead of plunging into our own present, we again go in search of strong experiences, emotional outbursts that will take us out of a state of stupor for a while. “It remains only to regret the freshness of feelings and perceptions that we all had in childhood,” Vladimir Baskakov reflects. - It's a paradox, but bygone childhood turns out to be the most striking example of experiencing "here and now."
body as evidence
Emotionality is associated with physicality, and the loss of the ability to experience one's emotions is associated with a neglect of the body, characteristic of our culture.
“We habitually talk about “ownership of the body”, not noticing that “ownership” is not a relationship of equal partners, but of a master and a slave, continues Vladimir Baskakov. - The body always lives in the present. But we “leave it in the head”, thereby isolating ourselves from feelings.”
However, there comes a time of rebellion, when the “slave” body refuses to obey: it begins to hurt. Pain is a powerful experience that inevitably brings us back to the present, to the reality of the current moment. It is no coincidence that, wanting to ascertain the reality of experiences, we say "pinch me." But pain is “required” only because we are insensitive to softer, subtle sensations.
Where am I, what am I feeling, what am I thinking, what is my body feeling, what is happening to me right now?
“The main sign of modern civilization is control,” says Vladimir Baskakov. - As soon as we notice something, we strive to take this "something" under control, to begin to manage it. With regard to experiences, this means the destruction of their naturalness, spontaneity. Indeed, we often dream that feelings come to us on demand and turn off at the first request. “But being in the present requires other skills - attention and trust,” explains Vladimir Baskakov. “Only under these conditions can we experience real contact, co-presence with ourselves and with the world.”
It seems that we have no other way to the present, except for constant questions: where am I, what do I feel, what do I think about, what does my body feel, what is happening to me right now?
Life flies by in an instant
And we live as if we are writing a draft,
Not understanding in the bustle of the scandalous,
That our life is just a moment ...
Ludmila Bugrova
You barely mastered the books of Osho, Eckhart Tolle and Ram Dass, but did not understand how it is to be Here and now? Or have you not read these wise and undoubtedly useful books, but have heard that it is very fashionable now - to be Here and Now, but you do not understand at all how to do it? Then this article is exactly for you.
See what happens. The problem of being in the place and moment "Here and Now" is not so simple as it might seem at first glance. No, well, really, it would seem, what's so complicated? Do not think about the future, do not regret the past, do not think about the best places where you are not, focus all your attention on where you are and what you are doing now, that's the whole practice.
Yes, but for some reason it doesn't work. And not even because thoughts, out of habit, fly off into the future, then into the past, then to inaccessible Hawaii. It just doesn't work is all. There is no promised buzz that should come by default as soon as you start living in the Here and Now.
Life is always happening now.
Why Here and Now Awareness Doesn't Work
To begin with, it is worth paying tribute to our wonderful brain. He does not just rush from the future to the past. He scans space for dangers and wants to protect us at 200%, and even better at 1000%. To be sure! We inherited this property from distant ancestors and still helps not to get hit by a car in saturated city traffic or successfully bypass open hatches, almost without looking under our feet. What about past and future? And this experience and possible dangers. Therefore, we wander with our thoughts here and there, in order to warn, foresee, predict, and, if possible, be saved.
Nice property! Thanks to our ancient brain!
But now you have realized all this, and for about half an hour you can not jump in your thoughts, but observe, say, your breathing. That is, practically to be in that reserved Here and Now. And what? You meditate for a month, a year, several years. Every day! Okay, next day. Okay, let it be only three times a week, but ironically.
And nothing. That is, absolutely!
Yes, you have become a little calmer and more balanced, the stress has decreased a little, you now eat three less cookies than before, and the neighbor with the drill is no longer such a big bastard, although he is a reptile, of course. But where is the promised paradise? Where is the Primordial Happiness and the All-Encompassing Serenity, spotless and immeasurable like the ocean? I don't have them. They promised and didn't deliver. Fu on you all! Deceivers.
Get distracted from thoughts more often - get carried away by the moment ...
The trick is that it is not enough just to be with your attention in the current moment. You can stare blankly at the wall or watch your own belly button and not think about anything else, but this does not guarantee you immediate happiness. And even delayed in time too. It doesn't work like that.
Imagine that you switched your TV to a channel where there is nothing, not even flickering stripes. Just a white screen. If you don't like white, let it be black. You can stare at him endlessly, but it will give absolutely nothing. Happiness will not be drawn from the void by itself just because you deigned to free your head from thoughts. But this is exactly what different gurus write about. It is they, the vile pantsless in orange saris and mountain-like turbans, who promise the same Happiness as soon as you calm your mind. Reassured - get a wagon of happiness! I reassured you again - here's ten cars for you. Reassured forever - get Enlightenment and sit down with us brahmins to drive tea! There are still places.
Okay, I'm exaggerating, of course. The same gurus clearly write in books that it won't work the first time, you have to train. And some will have to do it all their lives, and the result is not guaranteed. But who cares? At first it was promised, but everything else is so-so, costs that you don’t want to pay attention to.
Live here and now, appreciate ordinary moments of life.
Here and Now without a feeling of Happiness will not work!
You can talk as much as you want about the efficiency of our ancient brain, or that such a way of life, on the contrary, does not allow self-development. You can try to avoid automatisms in your own thinking and behavior, and many succeed to one degree or another. But there is no main thing - there is no feeling of Happiness. And it should be. Everyone who preaches a way to live Here and Now repeats this. Otherwise, what's the point? Well, you will act more effectively in life without your learned automatisms, but without a feeling of Happiness, all this does not make sense.
So, dear, the first key word here is - Availability the same happiness. The truth is that happiness will not come automatically once you stop wandering your mind and focus on the present moment. Need it intentionally evoke in yourself. Yes! Exactly - intentionally.
We all knew how to evoke this wonderful feeling in ourselves in childhood. Or rather, there it arose just on the machine, simply because for us everything was for the first time and again. We explored this world, and absolutely everything was interesting to us. Here is the second key word - interesting!
Adults are no longer delighted and surprised by every leaf on a tree, a candy wrapper on the pavement, a neighbor's dog the size of a bicycle, an uncle with a mustache and a broom, sun hares on the wall of the room, thousands of flying dust particles in the sun, etc.
This is understandable. We have all seen this a million times, there is nothing to admire and be surprised. Boring and banal. But precisely because we are accustomed to the whole environment around us, we always strive to escape somewhere. To distant unknown lands, where by default there is always a holiday-holiday, fountains of champagne, the ability to burst sweets without measure and without any consequences, and where mountains of magic matches are scattered, fulfilling any desire, where we, young and carefree, rush through the puddles and do not take a steam bath about nothing at all. That is, not here and not now, but somewhere there and sometime.
How to start living again here and now
How can we wake up this childish perception in ourselves in order to rejoice in everything that surrounds us? It's actually not that difficult. It's like remembering how to ride a bike.
Just imagine: an adult, after a long break, sits on a bike. The last time he rode it was 10 years old. After that, 30 years have already passed. On the face of a person, a mixture of uncertainty with the fear of seeming stupid, because he really does not know if he will succeed. Although they say that such an experience is not forgotten, but who knows. What if something goes wrong? And at the same time, a person tries to look calm and even careless, like - what is there to be able to do then?
What happens next depends on whether he is imbued with the moment or does not find anything new for himself and only shrug his shoulders in bewilderment. So, the problem of an adult is that he no longer expects anything new from the usual things. And he sincerely does not understand how one can be happy about something here. It's such a banal thing.
Do not look for something new or unusual in familiar things, this does not work
And the secret is that no need to look for something new in familiar things. I understand that this is impossible. But! You can and should find joy that you you can do it all. And you can do it here and now. It is available to you at any moment. That is, to shift the focus from action as such to possibility performing this action.
Why this shift in attention?
Well, just imagine: a man is walking down the street. There is nothing new in this. He had walked on it a million times already, for many years in a row. He knows almost every brick in the buildings he walks past, and remembers where and what curses are written on the walls. Underfoot is ordinary asphalt with familiar nauseating cracks, puddles and traces of chewing gum. And along the path - an alley of poplars, which crumble every summer with fluff, you can’t even breathe. Boring things!
But what if this passerby is instantly transferred to a sultry desert, where there are no roads, no houses, no trees at all, and one can only dream of a puddle of water? Or even cooler - send him to the dark side of the planet Venus, where in a powerful spacesuit and under the protection of the rocket body you can still survive for several hours, and then krants. Then this whole familiar home street will become much nicer and prettier for him. Agree?
We have lost the habit of appreciating what we have. We take this for granted. But as soon as we take it away, we will immediately feel bad and uncomfortable. The lights in the house went out, the water was turned off, the coffee ran out, and the cookies too. Oh, how sad without them it immediately became! And when all this is in abundance, well, and figs with him, why think about it then.
There is no moralism here. The trick is not to pinch someone and say: look what an ungrateful asshole you are and all that. I just want you to understand one simple thing: in order to learn to be happy in the Here and Now, it’s not enough just to remember this and try to carefully look around your room with bulging eyes from zeal, listen to the sounds outside the window, smell the smells and feel the fifth point of the sofa seat . The most important thing at this moment is to remember that you have the opportunity to see, hear, smell and touch it all. Remember and rejoice. And feel the thrill. You can literally feel it with your skin. Because it is a huge Gift!
Think for a moment about those who are deprived of this gift. For those who cannot see or hear. About those who do not have arms or legs. About those who do not live in such comfortable conditions as you do, but are forced to huddle in a tiny shack without water, heat and electricity. About those who do not have the opportunity to go online every day and be connected to an unlimited source of information. If you are reading this, then you have everything. You are infinitely rich, compared to the inhabitants of the poor regions of any country. But you do not appreciate it, simply because you are used to it.
Shift your attention from familiar things to the realization that you have them, that you own them, you can touch, see, hear, smell, finally. Understand that when you are gone, there will be no one to touch, see, hear and smell all this. Even if you believe in an otherworldly existence, then remember what you will lose with the loss of the physical shell.
This shift in attention to your sensory experiences will help you regain the very direct perception that you had as a child. It's just that then you always had it enabled by default, and now you need to enable it again, because bright feelings - this is real life. And then happiness is not far off, but it will even be very close.
Vivid feelings - this is real life!
Everything is simple!
It is today that happiness will come to me. Happiness is within us; it is not the result of external circumstances. Therefore, a person is only as happy as he is determined to be happy.
Dale Carnegie
At first, of course, you won't be able to do much. Sometimes there will be an unpleasant feeling that you are trying to force yourself to enjoy the banal presence of water in the tap or the softness of toilet paper, and not a hard newspaper or burdock. It all depends on your persistence. If you don’t quit right away, then after a while you will begin to notice that you really begin to like familiar things and furnishings. Not just like: "Oh, there is water in the tap, it's normal.", but exactly - "Wow, the water is fresh and cool today, super!".
And smile more often :) Let it be even a forced smile at first. Over time, she will become more and more sincere and joyful.
Do you know how easy it is to determine if you are in the Here and Now? That's when a wide smile begins to spontaneously appear on your face at the most unexpected moments, then you can be absolutely sure that you have achieved something significant in this matter, that you are in this very moment and feel the fullness of life. This is the clearest sign of successful progress on the path of awareness. Sometimes this wide smile can turn into involuntary laughter for no reason. Do not rush to call the fool, everything is in order with you. It spoke to you, your almost forgotten childhood perception of life began to play. And it's great!
Life turns into a real holiday when there is nothing in it but the present.
Paulo Coelho
Where are you now? What do you feel now? What do you have now, what is worth taking away from you, and you will immediately feel uncomfortable, sad, depressing, scared, bitter, unpleasant, etc.? Can you thank the Universe right now for the fact that you still have this necessary and necessary thing? So give thanks! And be happy for yourself beloved.
Updated (02/16/2019): The other day I read an interesting doctor of psychological sciences N.I. Kozlov about the principle of "Here and Now".
The article is controversial. It can be seen that the author is “sharpened” for business tasks with an eye to setting goals for the future and stuff like that. For him, of course, there is a clear division of people into “unhealthy” (infantile adults and other neurotics), for whom it is extremely useful and necessary to live and act according to the principle of “Here and Now”, but there are healthy and vigorous (businessmen and politicians) who need to to look to the future and make plans. For the latter, this principle is even harmful.
In the comments there is also an excellent answer from Maria Koltasheva, with which I completely agree. I'll quote it in full:
In my understanding, "here and now" is primarily an internal state of presence and awareness at every moment of time, in the context of the current situation. This is the resource of the detached position of the "observer", which allows you to accept reality as it is and continue to act based on the situational context.
But this does not exclude a constructive analysis of past experience and its productive study. Just as it does not exclude planning your future and setting goals and objectives, formulating an effective life position.
Thus, guided by the worked out past experience and letting go of everything superfluous, knowing your goals and plans for the future, you are simply present and concentrating on the moment now. You are present here and take from this moment everything for your purposes. In psychotherapy, the "here and now" technique is used to realize one's current emotional state, which allows one to return to the disturbing situations of the past through the emotional bridge and realize them, thereby completing them.
Nothing like this! In the esoteric sense, and also in the psychological sense, this principle reflects the real presence in every moment of being. And not just a presence, but a presence felt, in a positive way, with joy from what you feel and perceive. In this state, it is quite possible and necessary to plan for the future, remember the past with gratitude and do all this from the present moment. That's the point! :)
But men don't know...
We pass by our lives. Day after day we are in the clouds, remembering what was, and dreaming about what will be. And in the end we have only the past and the future. No real. Why is this happening and how to learn to live in the moment - the author of "Cleo" Alexander Belousov figured out.
“Imagine that all people live only one day,” John Lennon sang in the song Imagine. In fact, it takes a lot of effort to imagine a humanity capable of living in the present moment. Only a few of us manage to not relive the emotions of the past again and again and not indulge in dreams of a brighter future, while forgetting about the present. Physically, we are here and now, but mentally we analyze what was and think about what will be. This state is comparable to stress: our consciousness, tuned to perceive information coming from outside at the moment, seems to be “torn”. Hence the bad mood, fears, anxieties (“what if the boss decides to fire me”, “it was necessary to do it in a completely different way”), inability to enjoy today, hope for tomorrow (“I will buy that dress, I will become a beauty”) and, what is most terrible, the feeling that life is passing by. We do not feel happy, our existence becomes meaningless, insipid and boring.
Physically, we are here and now, but mentally we analyze what was and think about what will be.
Why is this happening?
To understand why we stubbornly refuse to enjoy the present moment, exchanging it for thoughts about something completely extraneous, let's remember the behavior of a child who is in a terrible or uncomfortable environment for him. Turning on the protective mechanism, the child creates his own imaginary world, where everything is fine and develops exactly the way he wants.
Adults do the same: dissatisfied with the present life, they constantly try to mentally "escape" from it - into plans for tomorrow, into memories of their first love or a run-in with the boss, into dreams of the next vacation. Simply put, people try their best not to notice what makes them uncomfortable today.
The Internet is a way to escape reality
You may not have thought about it, but one of the most common symptoms of the “not here and now” disease is “escape” to the Internet. Experiencing discomfort due to what surrounds him in real life, a person prefers to "settle" in the virtual world, where it is much easier to create acceptable conditions for existence yourself. Therefore, if you spend too much time online, you should think about what exactly you refuse to notice in yourself or in the people around you. Perhaps real life makes you so unhappy that you are terribly afraid to admit it to yourself.
What does this give us?
To put it quite simply, constant abstraction from the present robs us of this present. If a person is constantly not here and not now, then sooner or later he will begin to feel dissatisfaction with his life, will be apathetic, passive.
In addition, focusing our thoughts every minute on everything except what is happening here and now can negatively affect our relationships with friends and family. Significant moments of life can elude us: from someone's sincere smile and gratitude to a spouse's romance on the side. In addition, it is impossible to build a healthy relationship, being not here and not now.
How to return to the present?
1. Listen to yourself- try to understand how you feel at the moment, what you want, what you are afraid of. Reward yourself for being able to focus on the present. How exactly - your momentary desires will tell you.
2. Stop procrastinating(often unpleasant) deeds and thoughts for later. “Later” will still come, and things will have to be done, but the difference between “now” and “later” will be your psycho-emotional state at the time of performing a specific task: from calm concentration to nervousness and self-flagellation.
Reward yourself for being able to focus on the present. How exactly - your momentary desires will tell you.
3. Don't wait for the right moment. It will never come: there will always be a “but” preventing you from going on vacation or having an important conversation. Therefore, if here and now you have realized the need for something, try to bring this “something” to life.
4. Pay attention to the process. Being result-oriented is, of course, good. This approach allows us to achieve heights in completely different areas. But the process in this case seems to evaporate - it does not exist. Try to pay attention to what and how is happening to you. Simply put, when you go to work, forget about the pile of boring letters that are waiting for you there. Enjoy your walk, no matter how fast or relaxed it is.
5 . And finally log off the internet, return to reality, try to note everything that surrounds you. Unusual feeling, right? The habit of doing everything automatically - putting the kettle on the stove, kissing her husband at night, closing the door of the apartment, logging into the network - deprives us of the opportunity to live consciously.
Client-centered psychotherapy, non-directive hypnosis and NLP. It was introduced into psychotherapy by the founder of psychodrama, J. L. Moreno, and this is how I formulate the principle of organizing the psychodramatic scene. The band members playing the roles had to act in the scene as if everything was happening "here and now", although the scene itself could refer to the distant past or future. This is one of the main principles of working at the training - to talk only about what is happening here and now, and not about what was once or could happen.
Following Jakob Moreno, the "here and now" principle was raised to the flag by Fritz Perls, making it one of the main principles of Gestaltherapy. By inviting clients to say "Now I'm conscious" more often while simultaneously focusing on bodily states, Perls thus replaced the intellectual insights of psychoanalysis with a living reliving of the traumatic situation.
Today, the principle of "here and now" is most often understood as a state of consciousness when focusing on what is happening in this place and this second, without being distracted by reflections on the past and future.
To turn off reflections on the past and the future, it is not to be somewhere far away or with someone, but here. Not in the past or future, but now. And to decide, accordingly, only what is happening or can happen now, without being burdened by the problems of the future - or by what is not in our power now.
Similarly, the "Here and Now" principle is a way of organizing attention, switching and focusing attention from the past (or future) to what is happening at this second and in this place. Is it right to live in the here and now? Sometimes yes, sometimes no. For children, infantile adults and people with problems, the ability to "be here and now" is usually very useful: the ability to be "here and now" increases personal adequacy, speed and clarity of response, and overall efficiency.
Indeed, children (including adult children) are easily distracted. Bright there, noisy in the other direction - and attention is no longer here. Things stopped or went wrong. And when the person gathered attention and returned to business, things started again.
When used correctly, the principle of "Here and Now" removes infantilism, helps to grow up. The man-child likes to dream, replacing difficult reality with sweet dreams. He remains in childhood. And when such a person returned to life, to the here and now, he got down to business, prepares himself for the future, accustoms himself to adulthood. If the principle of "here and now" does not prohibit thinking about the future, but is aimed at building the future, is the collection of available resources to move forward - this is an excellent principle.
The principle of "here and now" is good for solving difficult problems. Indeed, people with negative thinking see problems where there are none, the principle of "here and now" brings such people back to reality. Similarly, when a person tends to plunge into the past or run away into the future. The reasons for this are different - sometimes going into the past is an escape from the difficult present, sometimes, on the contrary, a person cannot get away from the painful memories of the past ... And the result is the same - the present is abandoned, which reduces the adequacy and breeds new problems. Instead of suffering from past failures or dreaming that everything will be great in the future (and at the same time fearing the future), it is useful to see the reality around you. Reality is not always shining and only cool and pleasant, but, as a rule, it is richer, more interesting and more promising than negative glitches.
You can get acquainted with the practice of using this technique by looking at the advice of F. Perls, as well as in the articles Hurry to live in the present - Vyacheslav Pankratov or There is only a moment (Anton Perelomov).
Where the principle of "here and now" is superfluous and harmful?
When the principle of "here and now" distracts from negative thoughts or painful memories, it is a successful psychotherapeutic solution, useful as crutches for the patient. But what is good for the sick should not be thoughtlessly recommended to the healthy. The "here and now" is an important healing platform for the mentally ill, but those who have recovered come out of this healing platform and do not descend to it again. When the principle of "here and now" is uncritically promoted in relation to people who are adults, healthy and developing, it turns out to be rather harmful stupidity.
Total
For children, infantile adults and people with problems, the ability to be "here and now", turning off thoughts about the past and the future - as a rule, is very useful. When the "here and now" principle distracts from negative thoughts or painful memories, it is a successful psychotherapeutic solution. If this principle is promoted in relation to adults, healthy and developing, telling them not to think about the past or the future, it turns out to be rather harmful stupidity.
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The book has three parts. In the first one, you'll learn how to get rid of clutter, practice mindful consumption, and master the laid-back Scandinavian interior design style. The second part is about the art of enjoying the little. And, finally, the third part will talk about the lag in relations with society and the principles of environmentally friendly life.
From the author
Lagom is a broad idea that is firmly rooted in the Swedish mentality. This word is often translated as "moderation in everything", "not too much and not too little." But in essence, a lagom is a balance that is right for you. For example, water can be lag-warm - a temperature that is comfortable for you. You can work with a lag - without overdoing it, as much as you need. Pants can sit on you with a lag - as it should. The word can be used in almost any context, and that's the beauty of it.
By striving for a more modest, comfortable and balanced existence and learning to be content with what you have, you will take a huge burden off your shoulders. Life will become easier for you and for those around you. And most importantly, you will get the most valuable resource in abundance - time.
Surely lagom is already in your life in one form or another. But I hope that the ideas in this book will inspire you to more deliberately practice this philosophy in areas that are currently in chaos, and with methods that are effective for you. By quietly changing your daily habits, you will come to a better balance and free up time for the main thing. Even if you start with a short break in work - fics, this is already a big step!
Who is this book for?
A book for everyone who strives for harmony in life and loves to read about hygge and lagom.
about the author
Niki Brantmark is the creator and host of the award-winning interior design blog My Scandinavian Home. The blog is inspired by Niki's life in Sweden - she moved from London to Malmö many years ago. Myscandinavianhome.com is a very popular blog with 25 million visits, 550 thousand monthly views and followers from all over the world. Nicky is the author of Modern Pastoral and The Scandinavian Home. Lives in Malmö with his family.