With the help of a specialized diagnostic technique developed by V. Feya, the degree of acceptance by a person of other people is diagnosed. In fact, this is a test for relationships with other people and sociability. In the overwhelming majority of cases, this technique is used to analyze the behavior of adolescents, but in many situations its use is also no less relevant in the process of studying adults.
There are two main types of response in the process of communication - proactive and reactive. The latter is a complete lack of self-control, even if a person has the ability to suppress some outbursts of emotions. Proactive behavior is a pause between stimulus and response, during which a person can comprehend all options for action and choose the most optimal option. Thus, proactive people have the freedom to choose how best to respond to certain events.
To have a proactive response, you need to accept, acknowledge and respect yourself and your actions. We basically treat other people the same way we treat ourselves, so accepting ourselves in the main becomes also a decisive factor in accepting others.
- Almost always
- Often
- Sometimes
- By chance
- Very rarely
2. I like the people I know
- Almost always
- Often
- Sometimes
- By chance
- Very rarely
3. Nowadays people have very low moral principles.
- Almost always
- Often
- Sometimes
- By chance
- Very rarely
4. Most people only think positively about themselves, rarely addressing their negative qualities.
- Almost always
- Often
- Sometimes
- By chance
- Very rarely
5. I feel comfortable with almost anyone.
- Almost always
- Often
- Sometimes
- By chance
- Very rarely
6. Everything people talk about these days comes down to talking about movies, TV and other stupid things like that.
- Almost always
- Often
- Sometimes
- By chance
- Very rarely
7. If someone started doing a favor to other people, they immediately cease to respect him.
- Almost always
- Often
- Sometimes
- By chance
- Very rarely
8. People only think about themselves.
- Almost always
- Often
- Sometimes
- By chance
- Very rarely
9. People are always dissatisfied with something and are looking for something new.
- Almost always
- Often
- Sometimes
- By chance
- Very rarely
10. Most people's quirks are very hard to endure.
- Almost always
- Often
- Sometimes
- By chance
- Very rarely
11. People definitely need a strong and smart leader.
- Almost always
- Often
- Sometimes
- By chance
- Very rarely
12. I like being alone, away from people.
- Almost always
- Often
- Sometimes
- By chance
- Very rarely
13. People are not always honest with other people.
- Almost always
- Often
- Sometimes
- By chance
- Very rarely
14. I enjoy being with other people.
- Almost always
- Often
- Sometimes
- By chance
- Very rarely
15. Most people are stupid and inconsistent.
- Almost always
- Often
- Sometimes
- By chance
- Very rarely
- Often
- Sometimes
- By chance
- Very rarely
1. People are easily misled.
Low rate of acceptance of others. Instead of trying to understand the other person and let them be your friend, you build up protective barriers. Instead of celebrating differences and learning from friends, you see it as an obstacle to communication. You should stop being a grump and be more friendly to others.
The average acceptance rate of others tends to be low. You can be pleasant to communicate with others, but with a small circle and for a short time. More often, you look for reasons not to start a conversation with unfamiliar people.
The average rate of acceptance of others with a tendency to high. You are quite pleasant in communication and very liberal in the choice of interlocutors. You can keep up a conversation with people and learn something new for yourself. We can say that you are open to new things, but do not tolerate empty chatter and listening to complaints.
High rate of acceptance of others. You can keep up a conversation with anyone and about anything. You are genuinely interested in others and their lives. You must have many friends and acquaintances who find in you a pleasant conversationalist.
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How are your relationships with people?
Healthy relationships with other people make us feel happy and peaceful, they help us develop, increase our self-esteem, and arouse interest in everything we do. And the bad ones, on the contrary, prevent us from fully realizing ourselves, cause stress, bouts of anger and provoke bad habits. These are the observations of neuroscientist and psychiatrist Amy Banks, author of On the Same Wave. Neurobiology of harmonious relationships". Amy Banks created the C.A.R.E. (named after the initial letters of the four benefits of healthy relationships: calm, accepted, resonant, energetic - “calmness, acceptance, resonance, energy”), which allows us to evaluate our relationships and restore broken connections. So, the first stage of the program is an assessment of the quality of relationships. By completing this test, you will see which relationships have the most significant impact on the formation of your brain; which of your contacts have the greatest potential in terms of development, and which get in the way of interacting with people.
Identify the 5 most important people to you. Write down the names of those adults (namely adults, children do not belong to them) with whom you spend the most time. The names of those with whom you communicate most actively, and those who most often own your thoughts, should be at the very top of the list. Don't make the mistake of only including the ones you like the most on this list! The first five of these are the people whose relationships have the most impact on your brain. Now evaluate the relationship with each of them in turn. How often are the following 20 statements true? Rate the statements on a scale of 1 to 5.
Our test today is about how others perceive you. Here, after all, there can be a variety of surprises - pleasant and not very - right?
But we still ask you to treat our venture as a curious and fun experiment. Well, if you like it, tell your girlfriends and friends about it on social networks.
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suffering good
"Here is a poor ..." or "a big soul person" - somehow they can designate you behind your eyes, depending on your own system of values.
Because you pull everything on yourself and you care about everything - which, of course, is good for the world as a whole, but not always "ok" for yourself.
Homeless cats, crying children, grandmothers who have forgotten their address, and even alcoholics who cannot get up from the asphalt - you consider all this to be your responsibility, experiencing not just slight anxiety, but full-fledged stress.
Of course, the problems of a second cousin from Udmurtia, the mother of an ex-husband (as well as the ex-husband himself) and that girl from the accounting department are also directly related to you ...
Sometimes you yourself don’t even realize that you are getting involved in saving the Universe again ... Well, the Universe is already ready: its inhabitants know that you can hang absolutely everything on you - and you will come, get it, sign it and do everything in the best form. In other words: everyone is trying to take advantage of your kindness.
Your parents raised you very well and you have a really big heart, but don't let those around you use these facts against you. Take care of yourself!
sunny little man
- Hello, sunshine!
Somehow, it is quite possible that you greet a colleague in the department, radiating warmth, kindness and positive.
They can answer you about the same, but let's ask ourselves a question: is it sincere?
You are a truly open and direct person who does not hold evil and is satisfied with his life, and therefore smiles at her from the bottom of his heart.
However, not everyone can boast of this. Many simply act out friendliness and sociability, because this need is dictated to them by society.
In turn, they can interpret your sincere attitude and direct manner of communication as hypocrisy and duplicity (after all, everyone judges by himself!).
And therefore, a little advice (although no one loves them): do not lose the excellent qualities of your character, but be restrained in their manifestation and open only to those closest to you - those who will definitely understand and appreciate.
Irreplaceable comrade
Reliability is what others value most in you. You are the person who will really pick up the phone at three in the morning - and arrive. The one who will be able to do artificial respiration and heart massage (and definitely resuscitate!). The one who, as we know, "stops a galloping horse, enters a burning hut."
In everyday terms, this manifests itself as follows: you always replace a work colleague without betraying him / her superiors, sit with a friend’s child while she establishes her personal life, or go to get medicine for a sick neighbor.
You do all this easily, simply, without lamentations - which does not burden people with a sense of guilt towards you, but fills them with infinite gratitude.
That is why you are really surrounded by true friends and good friends. Keep up the good work and know that what you give will come back to you in double volume.
Successful careerist
Most likely, the direct association with you among others is the word "success". This emanates from you - satisfaction with your own life, well-being (material and not only), peace of mind for tomorrow.
As you understand, the attitude towards this can be polar, depending on what kind of person you are dealing with.
In one case, it can be absolute respect, if not admiration - the desire to interact, learn from experience, ask for advice. In the other - envy and irritation. Those who have had a less successful life can easily write you down as "aloof, arrogant and generally unpleasant."
After all, no one knows what it cost you and what you have is worth, and how often, imperceptibly to others, your hands give up ...
What to do? Nothing! Do not get worse for you to please someone? Keep the brand and continue to look only ahead!
Incorrigible optimist
Have you ever noticed how much people whine? Too cold, too hot, too low salary, too high prices, too worthless husband, too useless life, but someone else ... Etc. etc.
You never understood this whining, and even more so you never joined it.
Do you think it’s just because you know how to find the positive side in everything, think in a constructive way and cope with difficulties without loading everyone and everything?
Nooo! The thing is that you are the very "other" who, according to the majority, has everything for some unknown reason in chocolate. It seems to them that you are showing off in front of them, and they consider your lightness and your optimism a pathology that nothing can be done about, but they don’t want to face it.
Fortunately, there are others - those who feed you, those who you feed. Keep smiling at this world and it will smile at you! Everything will be really cool!Double bottom
"Be simple - and people will reach out to you ..."
Yes, I'd rather be more difficult - and those who are easier will fall behind me. Right?
So (or something like this) you argue. And, in general, they are right. You do not exchange for unnecessary communication, but you know the rules of the game in a decent society and adhere to them. You are interested in everyone, you know everything, you are “in touch” with everyone, but at the same time carefully, carefully, maintaining a safe distance for you, knowing your own benefit.
Surrounding people feel it and cannot understand what is wrong. Kind of like you and them, but sort of like on your own. It seems like they agree with everything, but it seems that they defended their point of view. It seems like you are smiling, but to whom and why is not clear.
A person with a "double bottom" - perhaps they can talk about you like that ... But you know that this double bottom is just self-defense, which ensures a long voyage among "friends" in the most difficult conditions.
Sarcastic cynic
It's like in that meme - you love sarcasm, love and live alone.
You probably don't live alone. However, sarcasm, irony, and a thousand and one well-aimed jokes are indeed your main weapons.
With everything marshmallow-vanilla, it’s definitely not for you, but for a joke that can shake someone’s self-esteem, please.
That is why among those around you are known as a cynic. People have a habit of designating in this way those who look at life: a) realistically; b) with black humor.
Few people know that behind your "ha-ha" is observation, the ability to very accurately feel people and situations, as well as a deep inner experience of difficult situations ... You cover all this with the most bulletproof protection - and this is true. Only here it may seem to others that you are laughing when they cry.
Vulnerable sad
You are always a little distant and sad, as if you were born with a volume of Jean-Paul Sartre under your arm or preparing to replay Eeyore from Winnie the Pooh.
In fact, you are not so sad as smart - you think a lot about a variety of things, so they haunt you.
Well, it may seem to others that it is you who so ... hate them.
You really are not distinguished by exceptional philanthropy, and you are truly comfortable only with those close to you, however, those around you are unfair: if the situation is critical, you will throw off the mask of "sad absence" - and instantly come to the rescue, resolve someone else's problem, and even hug goodbye, letting you cry on your shoulder ... True, not for long :)
Because the zone of your comfort and reflection is still above all for you. You have every right!difficult man
"Oooh, that's a very difficult man!" - so, quite possibly, they are talking behind your back, trying to "prepare" a new acquaintance for what awaits him.
Let's see why you are such a difficult thing in the eyes of the environment.
In short: because you are a person.
You have your own position, point of view and views that you are not going to change to please anyone.
You do not impose anything on anyone, but you demand the same in return.
And it would be fine if you went to disputes and proceedings - it would be clearer and easier for others! No, you just silently and deedly stand up for what you believe in, and do what you want yourself, while the others clasp their hands indignantly and shake their heads reproachfully.
Meanwhile, you really don't have a dollar to please everyone. You are a much more valuable character - because you never inflate your worth, and so knowing that you and your interests are very, very expensive.
Hidden soulfulness
One of two things: either you realized in time how others like to use sincere people, or you are naturally emotionally restrained and hate public (and, in general, any) manifestation of emotions.
One way or another, it often seems to others that you are the owner of the emotional range of a toothpick. No sussi-pusi, no complaints, no talk "for life under cognac at the corporate."
You always keep everyone at a decent distance and do not even give them a reason to think that this distance can be reduced.
Your caution is understandable and close, but do not overdo it - it will not be long to miss a real person who is worthy to enter your life.
indifference and apathy
Oh... Are you alive?
Well, the truth is, you can’t figure it out right away! I want to shake you up to make sure.
You are so immersed in your reality that you are completely absent from the reality of other people with whom life brings you daily.
No one says that you should be equally attentive and sympathetic to the entire globe, but at least for the sake of loved ones, you can fork out and find resources in yourself in order to listen and hear.
And then they get offended. They think that you do not love them, do not appreciate and do not respect them. So many claims and scandals could have been resolved so simply - with a human and humane conversation.
We understand that, quite possibly, you have been so exhausted by people and circumstances that require strength that you want only one thing - to be left alone ... But if this peace is too long, you yourself will not be happy!
So let's go call the one who is the least unpleasant for you in this period of your life. And good luck!
Every lady knows the feeling of confusion and bewilderment when she, watching her beloved man, feels that she cannot understand him or tries to do something good for him, but gets the opposite effect. Someone can adjust to a partner and create a wonderful atmosphere in the house. And someone's relationship with a loved one does not add up in any way.
Take the test that offers Barbara de Angelis in the book "Secrets About Men Every Woman Should Know" and assess the strengths and weaknesses in your relationships with men. Choose one of the following answer options for each question:
BUT- almost always;
AT- often;
FROM- occasionally;
D- rarely;
E- Almost never.
Answer each of these questions, of course, without slyness, based not on how you should behave, but on the basis of how you usually act.
1. Being carried away by some man, I reconsider relationships with other people, try to get approval for my actions, limit my own desires or become less self-confident.
2. I feel responsible for the men close to me and in every possible way I urge them to do everything necessary for their promotion.
3. I allow men to treat me in a way that I would not allow any woman to treat me.
4. I using all my sexuality to build relationships with men.
5. Fear of a man's reaction to my act or word prevents me from doing what I want and telling him what I really feel.
6. I experience resentment on men for their attitude towards me in the past or for the way they behave with me now.
7. I feel helpless, confused or embarrassed when I try to get attention or love from a man, or to avoid manifestations of malice towards me.
8. I think that men treat me with that respect and rate me as highly as I deserve.
9. I always ask a man for what I want and what I need.
10. When I am in the company of men in authority, I feel comfortable and do not experience tension. I do not change my behavior and do not feel depressed, aggressive, or timid.
Now count the points.
BUT- 2 points;
AT- 4 points;
FROM- 6 points;
D- 8 points;
E- 10 points.
For answers to questions 8 to 10, give the following marks:
BUT- 10 points;
AT- 8 points;
FROM- 6 points;
D- 4 points;
E- 2 points.
Add up the scores and see the result:
80 - 100 points
Congratulations! Your relationship with men is almost perfect! Hard work on yourself and on relationships with men is rewarded. You know how to be both strong and loving at the same time. you save high self-esteem even in the company of men who play an important role in your life, and you know that a decent level of communication is of paramount importance for establishing healthy and lasting relationships. To avoid problems, work on yourself in those areas where your grades are lower.
60 - 79 points
Your relationships with men are not bad, but they could be much better. Most women fall into this category. You need to pay attention to some worrying points so that you don't make bigger mistakes in the future. You need to pay more attention to self-expression and the most complete satisfaction of your needs. You deserve much more love than you require.
40 - 59 points
You are in big trouble. Some of your negative emotional habits prevent you from finding true love and being appreciated. You will never be respected if you continue to obey men in everything, to be a “doormat” and pretend that everything is fine. It's time to change your behavior. The first step is to honestly admit to yourself how dissatisfied you are with your own life. You should read the relevant literature on the topic of relationships between men and women. Or ask friends for help, advice, and make a promise to yourself to start living the strong woman you want to be.
39 points and below
It's time to shout SOS! Your relationships with men are quite painful. You have been suffering and feeling unloved for so long that you have already forgotten what it means to be yourself in the company of a man. You may not even know what a healthy relationship with a man is. The time has come for decisive action, but you cannot take it on your own. Ask other women for help; find a friendly and experienced psychotherapist; join some kind of psychological support group. In a word, do everything to start loving yourself again. Fight apathy, resentment and anger. stop make yourself a victim! You can only change everything yourself. You deserve much more than what you have.