From an evolutionary standpoint, all emotions matter. Rage is no exception. It mobilizes our resources to defend against enemies or other dangers. If it were not for this emotion, our ancestor would have watched with indifference as the saber-toothed tiger devoured his leg. And this would hardly help the survival of the human race.
2. Helps to calm down
When we get angry, our body experiences stress (emotional and physical). When the body is under stress, we begin to get angry and want to cope with our negative state more strongly. The manifestation of anger gives us relaxation and allows us to lead.
If we continued to accumulate discontent in ourselves, we would quickly end up in a hospital bed.
3. Helps fight injustice
Anger is a standard response to injustice towards oneself or someone else. You must have felt it when you saw someone hurt the weak, or when you read about the impunity of those in power. It is this feeling that makes us change the established order of things and make the world at least a little better.
4. Protects values and beliefs
Anger allows you to determine not only injustice, but also your own values and beliefs. When we see that a situation or our behavior goes against them, we get angry. This reaction shows what is really important to us, and helps us to stick to the chosen principles.
5. Allows you to control your own life
Anger helps us stand up for what is rightfully ours. We begin to get angry if someone encroaches on our well-being, and resist the invaders. With the help of anger, we do not feel helpless, but in control of our lives.
People who are not afraid to experience and show anger are better able to fulfill their needs and control their own destiny. But, of course, we are only talking about cases of aggression or threats against them. If anger becomes the leading emotion, this is already a dangerous signal.
6. Helps to move towards the goal
We get angry when we don't get what we really want. Anger shows what goals and objectives are important to us. He also gives energy to overcome obstacles and achieve what you want.
7. Forms a positive outlook on things
Paradoxically, in some sense, anger is associated with optimism. When we are silently sad or selfish, we focus on failure and our inability to change anything.
When we get angry, we start from the fact that what we have planned is real and achievable.
As a result, we look for and find ways to improve the situation.
8. Increases work efficiency
Sometimes a moderate display of anger is appropriate in the work process. This is how you make it clear to partners and colleagues that individual problems are more important or require a quick solution.
Of course, no one likes employees and bosses who break down for minor reasons. But if the project is stalling for a long time, and you continue to remain blissfully calm, then, as it were, say to the others: "Everything is in order, it's okay." No, it's not okay. And you need to show it to the rest, so that the matter gets off the ground.
9. Helps during negotiations
An aggressive stance can be beneficial in negotiations. It allows you to "push through" the other side. Of course, this tactic is not always appropriate. If you are sure that your opponent is very interested, firmness and anger will help you negotiate more favorable conditions for you.
10. Improves the psychological state
Anger can be a defensive response that masks other emotions, such as fear. This usually refers to outbursts of uncontrollable rage. Therefore, it is necessary to fight not with them, but with their cause. The very same rage should be taken as a signal to search for deeper problems.
In other cases, anger, on the contrary, is suppressed. For example, when it seems unacceptable for a person to be angry at or close.
Instead of directing anger at its source, he spends a lot of energy on taming emotions, or even completely redirects aggression to himself.
Of course, throwing out aggression on loved ones is not always right. But nothing prevents you from screaming alone, hitting a punching bag or getting rid of rage in another peaceful way.
When anger is not controlled, it destroys everything around. When it is used wisely, it begins to be useful. Accept your anger and learn to manage it, then you will know what great power it can give you.
Anger is the most toxic emotion
Subjective experiences of anger
Anger is experienced by a person as a rather unpleasant feeling. In anger, a person feels that his blood is “boiling”, his face is burning, his muscles are tense. The mobilization of energy is so great that it seems to a person that he will explode if he does not give vent to his anger in any way. Consciousness shrinks. A person is absorbed in the object to which anger is directed, and does not see anything around. Perception is limited, the functioning of memory, imagination, thinking is disorganized. In a situation of anger, a complex of emotions associated with it dominates: disgust (rejection of harmful objects) and contempt (experience of victory over an opponent as a source of this emotion). Anger and sadness (emotion arises as a reaction to the collapse of hopes, the inability to achieve the desired goal) are activated by similar shifts in neural activity, and the role of sadness is that it reduces the intensity of anger and the emotions of disgust and contempt associated with it. When a person is angry, anger overrides fear. A sense of physical strength and a sense of self-confidence (which is higher than in any other emotionally negative situation) fills a person with courage and courage. A high level of muscle tension (strength), self-confidence and impulsivity generates a readiness for an attack or other forms of motor activity.
Functions of Anger
Anger is one of the basic, fundamental emotions. Anger has played a big role in the survival of man as a species. It increases a person's ability to self-defense, aggressive behavior, and after all, a person, as he evolved, faced a wide variety of obstacles that he had to overcome. However, as civilization developed, a person began to feel less and less need for physical self-defense, and this function of anger was gradually reduced. A modern person should be able to use anger for his own good and the good of people close to him. He often needs to defend himself psychologically, and moderate, regulated anger, mobilizing energy, can help him defend his rights. In this case, his indignation will benefit not only him, but also the violator of the law or the rules established by society, endangering others. On the other hand, inadequate hostility brings suffering not only to the victim, but also to the aggressor. Therefore, this process must be regulated and hostility should not be allowed to cross the permitted boundaries, otherwise the person will be punished with feelings of shame and guilt. Moderate, controlled anger can be used to suppress fear. Possible positive consequences of anger: awareness of one's own mistakes, awareness of one's own strength, strengthening relationships with a former enemy. The latter has long been noticed by psychotherapists who advise people who are angry with each other to “keep the channels of communication open” (C.E. Izard). If a person freely expresses his anger, talks about the reasons that caused it, and allows the interlocutor to respond in kind, then he gains the opportunity to get to know his partner better and thereby strengthen relations with him. Communication between people is destroyed by verbal aggression if a person who feels anger seeks to "defeat" the partner at any cost. Some scientists believe that personality develops precisely because of conflicts and crises. A person rises to new levels of development, accepting the challenges that circumstances throw at him. Crises and their overcoming allow a person to understand himself more deeply. The experience and expression of anger (not to be confused with manifestations of aggression) can have positive consequences in cases where a person retains sufficient control over himself. However, it must be remembered that any manifestation of anger is associated with a certain amount of risk.
Reasons for anger
The feeling of physical and psychological lack of freedom, as a rule, causes an emotion of anger in a person. People often get angry at all kinds of rules and regulations, because of which they feel constrained by the framework of conventions and unable to achieve the desired goal. Any obstacle to achieving the goal can cause anger. Annoying stimulation can also be a source of anger: unexpected pain, bad smells, exposure to heat, hunger, fatigue, discomfort, etc. It happens that anger causes long-term sadness. Feelings of disgust may be accompanied by anger. Anger is often accompanied by other feelings, the triad of hostility anger, disgust, contempt. Anger can also interact with the emotions of guilt and fear (the more fear, the less anger, and vice versa). The source of anger can be the thought of a mistake, injustice, undeserved resentment. Anger, for example, is caused by inflicted insults. And here the role is played not so much by the actions themselves, but by their interpretation, which causes anger (in the one who interprets these actions). Some actions cause a person to feel anger towards himself, others activate anger directed at the environment. Anger is contagious. Induced anger arises in the process of perceiving the external manifestations of the partner's anger. Thus, anger, like any other emotion, can be activated by actions, thoughts, feelings (K.E. Izard).
Anger and aggression
Aggression refers to verbal and physical actions of an offensive or harmful nature. Whether anger will lead to aggressive actions or not depends on a number of individual characteristics of a particular person and on the situation in which he is. Aggressive behavior is due to a number of factors. The emotion of anger does not necessarily generate aggressive behavior. Most people, when experiencing anger, most often suppress or significantly weaken the tendency to act, both verbally and physically. Anger creates a readiness for action, but does not force action. However, the frequent experience of anger increases the likelihood of some forms of aggressive behavior. The behavior of the aggressor is influenced by the very fact of the physical presence or absence of the victim. Hostility can be moderated by those at whom it is directed, both by an expression of threat and by an expression of submissiveness. In some cases, people can prevent a potential aggressor from attacking by showing fear and submissiveness and avoiding threatening actions. In other cases, on the contrary, the expression of a threat can prevent the further development of aggression. However, if a potential aggressor perceives himself as a winner, then the manifestation of anger on the part of a potential victim can provoke his even greater aggression. Neither manifestations of anger nor manifestations of aggression depend on age, which allows us to consider them as personality traits. The level of aggressiveness is, apparently, an innate characteristic of the individual and, as he grows up, acquires the character of a stable personality trait. Aggressiveness is often associated with sexual potency. Many people view aggressiveness as a sign of masculinity. However, this relationship is due not only to biological, but also to cultural factors.
Anger experienced by patients and healthcare workers
Patients experience pain, discomfort, because of their ill health they feel restrictions in their professional and personal life, they are often tormented by the thought: “Why do I need all this? It's not fair!" Often they believe that doctors do not want or, because of their low qualifications, do not know how to alleviate their situation, and they direct their anger at them. The patient is convinced that he is obliged to be cured in this medical institution or sent to another. Here the source of anger is the conviction that doctors can alleviate suffering, but for some reason they do not. If he had admitted that the doctors are doing their best under these conditions and are not able to do more today, then perhaps he would not have experienced anger. There are many reasons for patients to feel anger, and it is not always due to the behavior of the nurse, although it is very often directed at her. The nurse needs to understand this. On the one hand, she needs to monitor her behavior so as not to actualize anger in her patients, and on the other hand, if the patient is angry with her, then one should not succumb to guilt. The reason for the patient's anger is the situation in which he is. It is important not to become infected with the patient’s anger, not to respond with anger to anger (“I try, I do everything I can, the salary is negligible, but he is still unhappy!”), otherwise you can fall into a vicious circle, which is very difficult to get out of. The patient's anger is (in a statistical sense) a common thing, no matter how well he is cared for. However, if uncontrolled anger attacks become more frequent (and this is dangerous for his own health), then the nurse's regulated anger can reduce the level of anger he experiences (by activating fear). And the nurse has many reasons to be angry. But she's a professional. And if the patient does not always know how to control his emotions, then she must be able to do something with them, while protecting her own health. At the same time, the nurse can use anger for the benefit of the patient. For example, if he is experiencing excessive sadness or fear, then it is useful to make him angry in order to get him out of his depression. The nurse has to develop the ability to self-defense in order to control her anger, not be infected by the anger of others and develop the appropriate social skills for this.
Consequences of Suppressing Outward Expressions of Anger
The ban on manifestations (facial expressions, intonation, verbal aggression, etc.) of the emotion of anger can disrupt the adaptation of the individual, interfere with clarity of thinking. A person who constantly suppresses his anger and is unable to adequately express it is at risk of psychosomatic disorders (Holit, 1970). Unexpressed anger is considered by psychoanalysts as an etiological factor (although not the only one) of diseases such as rheumatoid arthritis, urticaria, psoriasis, stomach ulcers, migraine, Raynaud's disease and hypertension. How to control your anger Do not treat your anger with condemnation. It activates the impulses that come from our being. In a state of anger, a wave of energy rushes in search of an outlet. It can not only be contained (chronic containment is dangerous to health), but also transformed. It is important that a person manages his anger, and not anger manages a person. Technologies aimed at controlling one's emotions, in particular anger, are relevant. The expression of anger and related behavior can be constructive if a person seized with anger wants to establish, restore or maintain positive relationships with others. He must show others how he perceives the situation and how it makes him feel. It is important to express your feelings sincerely and unambiguously. This form of behavior creates the possibility of open two-way communication, in which there can be no “loser”. However, such communication is possible if the level of anger does not go off scale. It is useful to use express methods to reduce the level of tension caused by anger. So, if anger gives rise to aggression, and sadness gives rise to empathy, then by causing an angry person sympathy for the victim (stimulating his feelings of sadness) or fear (threatening him), you can thereby reduce the level of his situational aggressiveness. Anger involves preparing the body for physical action, which means that you need to offer the body physical relaxation. Physical activity in this case returns the body to a state of equilibrium. You can also use meditation techniques aimed at relaxing the body. Rational nutrition, sleep, body hygiene help reduce the intensity of the experienced anger. It is useful to make a list of people whose anger causes you induced anger and avoid contact with them. Reflections: “How would I feel if I were the victim of my aggression?” subdue anger; thought: “If I had not been overcome with anger, what would be the most rational way to behave in this difficult situation for me? » models behavior for the future. Thinking about the questions: “Due to the blockage of what desire of mine did I become angry? What obstacles prevent me from satisfying this desire? "dissolves" anger. Everyone has their own tricks that are useful for him to tame his anger. You can ask how colleagues deal with their anger at work, how they protect themselves when they are in the presence of an angry person. Also useful is the technique of self-observation, awareness of one's anger (paying attention to how anger arises, unfolds, stops), which stops the release of anger hormones into the body.
Nadezhda TVOROGOVA, Doctor of Psychology, Professor of MMA. I.N. Sechenov.
Is it worth holding back emotions?
Holding back your emotions can lead to serious health problems. Studies have shown that the suppression of emotions leads to high blood pressure, exhaustion of the immune system and increased pain sensitivity. Such people are in distress, often begin to abuse alcohol or drugs and regard others as their enemies, finding various reasons to justify themselves. Thus, the process of suppressing emotions leads to a change in the mental and physical state of a person. Therefore, experts on emotions recommend not to suppress emotions, say anger or aggressiveness, but to learn how to transform them in a positive direction, say, persistence. In reality, every day a person experiences anger and / or negative emotions, but their positive transformation helps to realize these feelings in a socially acceptable context with the least energy costs for the person himself. In this case, the negative effect of the suppression and repression of emotions will not be realized. Moreover, according to experts, the manifestation (realization) of negative emotions in a controlled mode is even necessary and balances physiological and psychological processes.
Negative emotions are useful if you know how to show them by controlling the process.
Uncontrolled anger can only harm yourself and others, but the ability to vent negative emotions, controlling them, helps to achieve great success, according to Harvard researchers. American scientists conducted a study during which they observed a group of 824 people over 44 years old. Those who were used to experiencing silently and not expressing their emotions were three times more likely to say that they had already reached the ceiling of their career. The head of the project, Professor George Welliant, says that anger is considered to be a very dangerous emotion and, in order to cope with it, it is recommended to train "positive thinking" that eradicates anger. Scientists have found that this approach is wrong and, in the end, turns against the person himself. Negative emotions, such as fear and anger, are innate and are of great importance, experts say. According to scientists, negative emotions are very important in order to survive. Professor Welliant, who is the director of Study of Adult Development, which published the results of the study, points out that uncontrolled anger is destructive. We all experience anger, but those people who know how to vent their rage while avoiding the dire consequences of unbridled outbursts of anger have achieved great results in terms of emotional growth and mental health, says the professor.
Anger and aggression are bad for the male heart
Manifestations of anger and hostility towards others are significantly associated with a high risk of coronary heart disease in healthy men and lead to an unfavorable outcome of cardiac disorders.
Cardiologists at University College London (UK) have determined that feelings of anger and aggression increase the likelihood of coronary heart disease by 19 and 24% among healthy men and men diagnosed with heart problems, respectively. It has been noticed that negative emotions often harm the work of the male heart, and not the female one.
Physicians from the University of Tilburg /Netherlands/, who also took part in the study, believe that the stressful conditions of everyday life have a detrimental effect on men's heart health and have a significant impact on the development of chronic diseases in the future. According to them, psychological factors play a significant role in the progression of cardiac ischemia, leading to dysfunction of the autonomic nervous system and increasing inflammation due to the activity of C-reactive protein, interleukin-6, cortisol and fibrinogen. Men should take the data seriously and try to control their emotions, doctors say.
Anger management. The revelation of an experienced aggressor
Denis Dubravin
School of Emotional Intelligence
Probably no other topic arouses as much interest and enthusiasm as the topic of anger management. “You need to see a psychologist” or “Go get treated!” is a common prescription for a person who has problems with feelings of anger. For as long as I can remember, I have always had this feeling.
Breakdowns occurred regularly, my emotional nature did not find a place and constructive ways to express this energy. In this regard, I regularly got into various fights, in which I did not always come out the winner. Then I started to practice martial arts, because I understood that without it my outbursts of aggression would not have the desired result. After several years of training at the Tiger Dragon school, under the guidance of my teacher Alexander Sivak, I unexpectedly saw that my ardor began to fade and awareness and the ability to control the course of thoughts and feelings appeared.
Further, it remained to formalize this development into knowledge and reinforce the effectiveness with practice. I will not say that I completely got rid of this feeling, I think that this is impossible. However, during this time I acquired a number of useful beliefs and techniques that help me in a variety of life situations. Interesting? Then we read on. I propose to move in order, since it is the correct order that is the key to success in curbing this feeling :)
If a person is angry, this indicates that he does not satisfy some important needs. Anger is a destructive feeling that gives a person a lot of energy. Negative energy begins to literally whip over the edge, narrowing the consciousness and adequate perception of reality, at the sight of the object of anger or the mention of it.
Initially, as a rule, but not always, there is a feeling of irritation, which turns into indignation, then into anger, and finally into rage. Anger mobilizes a person's energy, instills in him a sense of confidence and strength, suppresses fear. Anger creates a readiness for action. Perhaps in no other state does a person feel as strong and brave as in a state of anger. In anger, a person feels that his blood is "boiling", his face is burning, his muscles are tense. The feeling of his own strength prompts him to rush forward, to attack the offender. And the stronger his anger, the greater the need for physical action, the more strong and energetic the person feels. Isord
Emotions are an evolutionarily earlier mechanism for regulating behavior than the mind. Therefore, they choose simpler ways to solve life situations.
E.I. Golovakha, N.V. Panina
Anger is an emotion from the category of affects, which means that it can develop in a short time into a feeling of rage, which is inherently very destructive and difficult to control. Therefore, control over this feeling must be at the moment of its very occurrence.
“If an emotion is allowed, it goes free.” N. Kozlov
If anger is not reacted outwardly, it does not disappear. Being “swallowed”, it transforms into resentment, irritability, apathy, etc. Psychosomatic illnesses such as hypertension or diabetes mellitus, the two most common illnesses associated with anger suppression, may also occur.
What is the reason for the anger?
1. The main cause of anger is the infliction of pain. This is a natural reaction of the body, which has been brought to automatism by evolution.
2. Anger can be the result of other feelings. For example, after feelings of sadness, shame, fear. In this case, we can talk about the response to emotional pain.
3. Anger can arise from your thoughts. For example, your assessment of the actions of another person. This may be an unfair attitude to something, deceit, violation of agreements or disrespect.
The issue of anger management is a matter of the right beliefs and tools to help regulate this feeling.
For anger management to become the norm, you need to remember a few basic rules:
12 Rules for Anger Management
1. Decide to take control of your anger. Only by taking responsibility, you can begin to make changes in life. Also indicate why you need to manage this feeling, what opportunities and positive moments will appear thanks to this in your life.
2. Sustainable self-esteem. Take attacks in your direction as useful information. Don't take everything to heart. Find a solid foundation for your self-esteem.
3. Sports. Sports and any physical activity serve as an excellent prophylactic against the emergence of anger. Moreover, you will learn to endure pain and tension, and this will give you extra points in mastering this feeling.
4. Recognize the harbingers. Try to observe yourself when you are irritated: you may notice that your lips, jaw or fists are clenched, your shoulders are tense, your eyebrows are furrowed, etc. By learning to recognize the early signs of an impending “storm”, you buy time and will have time to do something.
5. Learning to think in a new way. Our feelings are a reflection of our thoughts. For example, if you are used to thinking in a conflict situation something like “Well, that's it, I can't! I just can't stand it! How long can this go on!?”, then your emotional sphere reacts to such thoughts with an explosion of negative energy.
6. Tolerance and acceptance. One of the most destructive beliefs in our lives (in most cases unconscious) is that everything should be the way we want and immediately. Try to tell yourself more often that other people are not in order to meet your expectations about them. And also that events can develop according to their scenario, regardless of what you think is “right” and “wrong”.
7. Soften the blow. Say to yourself in difficult moments, for example, when someone criticizes you or a neighbor is undergoing repairs: “This gets on my nerves, but this is not fatal.” You will feel your own strength, and you will accept unpleasant events more calmly.
8. Reduce demands on others. Don't expect perfection from people. Highlight the main thing, priority for you, your life and your happiness. Constant "catching fleas" poisons the life of both you and those around you. Instead, think about what really matters to you.
9. Justification. “He does this on purpose to get me” - do not attribute bad motives to people: they are either not true or one-sided. Even if a person really plans evil, then “he does it because he is unhappy, disliked and misunderstood” - as a rule it turns out to be no less true than the previous assessment.
10. Anger management is very much the art of compassion. Change places mentally, look at the situation through his eyes. What do you see? Feel what he feels. What do you feel? Develop the ability to remember good things about a person in a conflict situation. At least it will be objective. “But all the same, I feel good with him (her) - what are the pies that she bakes alone worth (the evening that we spent yesterday, etc.)!
11. Humor. A good joke can quickly defuse a situation. Think about how you could joke in typical "warming up" situations, and practice using your "homemade" ones. Coming up with jokes when you're annoyed is a lot harder.
12. The result will come gradually. Anger management skills should be distinguished from knowledge of anger management skills. Acquiring them takes time and practice. You may know how to ride a bike, but not know how to do it until you start trying, and most importantly, do not continue to try, despite inevitable failures. Don't be too hard on yourself: none of us are perfect. There will definitely be breakdowns, but less and less if you continue self-study. Do not rush and do not beat yourself up for failures. Don't give up and everything will work out.
Many people have dramatically changed their lives by learning only three or four of the anger management techniques I have described, including myself. And you can. Source: Alexander Kuznetsov
In addition to the general principles that will help you master the feeling of anger, it is important to have a working instruction on hand, which, when practiced (at least 5-10 times), can become your skill and save you from a lot of problems. So:
1. Admitting to yourself that you got angry. Say out loud: “I am very angry / angry! Recognition is necessary to ensure continued, intelligent management of one's emotions.
2. Use the STOP technique. When you feel the level of anger building up, mentally tell yourself “STOP. After that, wait 5-10 seconds. At the moment when your emotions are ready to explode and burst into a storm on the offender, you get precious time to make the right decision in this situation.
3. Inhale deeply several times. This will help restore breathing and the rhythm of the heart. And also "ground" and again feel contact with the body. "Blow off steam" in simple terms.
4. Put yourself in the place of the offender. Let's consider such a situation. Let's say you got nasty on public transport. The first reaction is to be rude in response. However, try to put yourself in the place of your offender. Maybe he has problems in the family, at work, or he is lonely and deeply unhappy. And he is rude not for pleasure, but unconsciously, due to a defensive reaction to more prosperous people than himself. Understanding that someone is in pain when they are angry helps develop compassion for the face rather than reacting with anger. This way you can take control of your negative emotions.
5. Choose several possible reactions. The pause gives you the opportunity to ask yourself the decisive question: What result do I want to get with this reaction?
6. Suggest a solution. Concentrate on possible solutions to the problem, and offer the person several options. Two or three options are better than one, because your opponent gets a sense of freedom of choice. Use the magic word - "let's ...". "Let's try this..."
Remember that anger is a bad helper in solving problems. Therefore, the best thing is to remain calm and balanced. When nerves go to hell, it is better to try to keep your mouth shut. (Harris)
http://www.medlinks.ru/article.php?sid=51368
The theme of our article will be the emotion of anger. We will look at the stages of its manifestation, as well as methods of working with it in order to reduce its impact on your life. You yourself must become the master of your life and emotional reactions, not allowing emotions to control you.
How to deal with anger and how to control anger
Anger is a negative emotion that occurs as a response to what a person considers unfair. According to Orthodox tradition, anger is not always condemned. Much depends on what the anger is directed against, while in Catholicism anger is clearly included in the list of deadly sins. In the Buddhist tradition, anger is understood as one of the five "poisons", so there is no excuse for it, and only self-observation will help to cope with it.
However, we will return to the modern tradition, not the religious one, and see what psychological science tells us about anger. Some psychologists believe that this emotion must be fought, sometimes even taught how to suppress it correctly, but this does not make the patient feel better. The suppression of any emotions does not lead to their final elimination - rather, to displacement (and not necessarily into the subconscious), but only temporary. Then the condition only worsens. An undeveloped and unthought-out emotion, as well as what causes it, manifests itself again with the same strength, which can lead to serious deviations in the emotional sphere and, as a result, become a threat to the stability of a person’s mental state.
Therefore, in this article you will not find advice on how to control anger; we will dwell in more detail on the nature of emotions themselves, as well as how we perceive and experience them. A person is a subject experiencing an emotion, so it is very important for him to understand the mechanism of his reactions, to become aware of his emotion, then he will have a chance to notice it at the very moment of its inception and thereby stop its development at the very beginning.
This way of observing the feeling, and therefore oneself, is extremely useful, and it can be used by those people who are interested in the issue of awareness, since such observation also becomes an excellent practice of awareness. You look at yourself from the outside - this is the key to everything. If we were asked to briefly outline the meaning of the method of working with the emotion of anger, as well as with any other unwanted emotion, what has been said above is the quintessence of this method.
Behind it lies a deep philosophical concept about the observer and the observed, but we will focus more on the practical psychological aspect of the stated idea and try to explain how this method works and how to apply it.
Feeling of anger. Stages of anger
The feeling of anger is very strong. However, in accordance with the map of consciousness compiled by David Hawkins, based on which he chose human awareness, in terms of the power of awareness, anger surpasses desire (lust), but is inferior to pride. According to this scale, where the highest level - enlightenment - is 700, anger scores 150 points, while pride - 175, and desire - 125.
Anger is born when a person feels capable of doing something. An apathetic person does not have enough energy even for such a feeling. Therefore, if you experience it periodically, then you should not be very upset about this, because it also means that your energy level is at a high enough level to achieve this feeling.
In order to leave the level of anger, move to a higher level - pride or even pride - and then to courage, which is the watershed between the cluster of negative emotions and positive ones, you need to be fully aware of your feelings, as well as what causes them.
Before talking about the causes of anger, we must analyze its stages - in this way we will understand how this affect manifests itself:
- discontent;
- feeling of injustice;
- anger;
- rage.
An extreme form of anger is rage. Anger that turns into rage is a destructive emotion that negatively affects others. Anger is born imperceptibly. Often this is the accumulated discontent, which is no longer possible to contain, and it develops into anger, and then into anger. Dissatisfaction with the fact that something is not going the way you would like it to. In order for anger to assume its classical form, a sense of injustice must also take part in this process. What causes dissatisfaction should be regarded by the subject himself also as a kind of injustice. Only then can anger be classified as a real emotion of anger. When it passes into its highest form, then anger becomes rage.
Anger and aggression: causes of anger and methods of dealing with it
Such concepts as anger and aggression must be able to distinguish. Aggression is an action that is supported by emotions, including anger, and anger is a pure affect, that is, a state, but not an action. Aggression has a goal, a person consciously achieves something, while anger can manifest itself almost uncontrollably: a person is not aware of it. This happens quite often.
Now that we know the difference between anger and aggression, we need to understand the causes of anger.
An angry reaction to a situation or a person's behavior can be either instant, unprepared (an outburst of anger), or an accumulated release of negative energy. If a person endured for a long time, put up with an unpleasant one, then sometime the tension must find a way out, and often it is expressed in the form of an emotion of anger.
This kind of anger is much easier to watch and prevent than the kind that arises spontaneously. Spontaneous anger is difficult to control or prevent. In this case, a very high degree of inner awareness is required from a person, when, under almost any circumstances, he is able to look at what is happening from a distance, that is, not to react, but to consciously observe both himself and the situation.
This is a very valid recommendation. Anyone who has been able to achieve such a high level of control over their emotions is unlikely to be interested in any other methods for working on their psychological state. Man has really learned to control himself. For people who are still in the stage of learning to observe their emotions, the following should be advised:
- Until a negative emotion arises, try to pay attention to your own thoughts and feelings as often as possible during the day, because in this way you fix them and become more aware.
- When you feel that you are accumulating rejection of something, then write down on paper everything that you feel - this again helps to look at emotions from the outside.
- If the moment of the birth of an emotion is missed, then you need to try to “catch” yourself already during its manifestation. Of course, this is much more difficult to do, but if one day you succeed, you can congratulate yourself, because you were able to become aware of your feelings directly at the time of their manifestation, and this is a big victory.
A few more words about anger: connection with the Muladhara Chakra
If above we analyzed the psychological reasons for the appearance of the emotion of anger, then in this part of the article I would like to look at anger from the point of view of the yogic tradition, where one or another chakra corresponds to certain psychophysical states.
Chakra is an energy center through which there is an exchange of energies between a person and the outside world. Each chakra has its own spectrum of action. The Muladhara Chakra is the root energy center, so it is responsible for basic emotions, including negative ones - phobias, anxiety, sadness and depression, and, of course, anger. Usually such emotions manifest when the chakra is imbalanced. If Muladhara works harmoniously, then this is expressed in the general calmness of a person, a state of stability and concentration.
It turns out that instead of controlling anger by developing awareness, you can do something almost the opposite - pay attention to the harmonization of the chakras through ancient practices and special exercises. This will not be slow to manifest itself on an increase in the level of self-awareness - then you will be able to control yourself at the mental level and prevent the very generation of negative emotions.
The practice of meditation and pranayama also brings great support in terms of working on the emotional state. Both practices go hand in hand, so you can't do one and overlook the other. For those who have never meditated, we can recommend taking a vipasana course, because usually moments of silence allow you to establish a connection with the inner Self and become the first step on the path to awareness.
You can also start practicing hatha yoga. The yoga system is built in such a way that when performing this or that asana, you work not only with the physical body, but also deal with the very balancing of the chakra system, and this, in turn, means work to normalize the psychological state. Usually, yoga practitioners notice a surge of physical energy and at the same time a state of calm on an emotional level. This suggests not only that yoga is practiced in the right way, but also that its effect is extremely beneficial for the state of the etheric (emotional) body.
Instead of a conclusion
"Defeat yourself and you won't have to defeat others." This Chinese proverb could be paraphrased and said: "Be aware of yourself - and you will have nothing to defeat others for." A person who has conquered anger and many other negative emotions in himself becomes much more advanced spiritually and much stronger psychologically. Therefore, he will not even want to defeat others, because self-knowledge will bring with it the realization that there is essentially no one to fight, and therefore, there is no one to defeat, because the greatest enemy that you have is you myself.
The article is devoted to one of the most unexplored topics - the growing trend of behavior of aggression (uncontrollable anger). The authors describe the multifaceted nature of the causes of the anger reaction.
The data of psychological studies of personality with uncontrolled anger are presented. It is shown that among the reasons for the behavior of anger, the most important are psychological. Timely identification of the psychological characteristics of a person with a symptom of uncontrolled anger helps specialists in the implementation of the client's tasks; in the development of programs of psychological assistance and psychotherapy.
One of the symptoms of poorly analyzed mental states that can lead to serious consequences is uncontrolled rage. Evaluation and analysis of this condition is of great importance, because. the emergence of rage can lead to serious consequences.
There are individuals who are prone to rage in a wide range of situations where a variety of triggers cause rage, proving to be traumatic for a given client.
Let's take an example. A few years ago, a middle-aged, married woman with a daughter, Ph.D., biologist, takes a job at the university of a small American town in Texas, transferring from another university due to the fact that she developed a new tissue analysis device, further research which she wanted to continue at her new job. Having received a position that allows her not to apply for re-election by competition for a number of years, she starts working at the university. A difficult situation develops, characterized by the fact that, on the one hand, her boss, a professor, the head of the department, realizing that she is a talented employee, constantly supports her, and, on the other hand, this woman has constant conflicts with students who complain to the management her rudeness, aggression and constant insults.
At the same time, a minority of students defend her, considering her a capable and extraordinary teacher. As student complaints become more and more frequent, a decision is made at a meeting of the rector's office to give her the opportunity to finalize the last semester and no longer renew her contract. At the end of the semester, she is invited to the last meeting of the rector's office, without being told the reason for the upcoming meeting. She is brought to work by her husband, with whom she arranges a meeting after the meeting. When the management informed her of their decision, she pulled out a pistol from her purse, killed the rector with a shot from it, and calmly, as if nothing had happened, went to meet her husband. An analysis of the details of her life revealed that many years ago she shot her own son with a gun that his father had bought shortly before for hunting. After the perfect action, she ran out of the house with the same gun, shouting that someone was chasing her and was going to kill her. No criminal case was initiated regarding the murder of the son, because. both husband and mother reported that it was an unintentional act during which she accidentally pulled the trigger. The police did not want to leave this case without attention, but since the relatives and close women were against bringing her to justice, the murder was regarded as an accidental domestic incident.
Further study of the anamnesis showed that when she worked at the university at her former place of residence, a competition for a grant was announced there. Despite the presence of several applicants, the woman was absolutely sure that she would take first place. However, the opposite happened. The grant was won by her colleague. In response, the woman accused the management of injustice, and the employee of incompetence. Having met her in a cafe, she approached her colleague, and after insulting her, struck her quite hard in the face. This time, the perpetrator of the incident received a suspended sentence.
In the course of further research, it was revealed that she was characterized by constant fits of rage. It has been established that immediately before the death of their son, a conflict occurred between them, in which the son touched her “to the quick”, hurting her pride.
An analysis of these three cases (rude behavior with students, a blow to the face of a university employee in a cafe, and, finally, the shooting of the rector) made it possible to establish that this woman's uncontrollable rage arose when her pride and her narcissistic complex were hurt.
As a result of such an emotional outburst, she could kill even a loved one. This example allows us to conclude that the onset of attacks of uncontrolled rage must be prevented, otherwise difficult-to-predict consequences may occur.
It is of interest to analyze cases of unexpected grave crimes committed by people who are outwardly restrained, reasonable, calm, loving order and certainty, directly or indirectly emphasizing their morality and law-abidingness. And against such a “favorable” background, such persons are capable of committing serious crimes.
The reasons for such murders for others at first glance are completely incomprehensible. However, the analysis of cases shows that at the moment of seemingly complete well-being, people who have committed unexpectedly serious crimes activate the narcissistic complex located in their personality, which reacts painfully and destructively to any occasion that touches its basic structure.
In such cases, a trigger is always revealed, which may be imperceptible and insignificant to others, but for the owner of a narcissistic radical, it has tremendous irrational significance and destructive and traumatic consequences. Rage can arise as a result of the accumulation of previous traumas that accumulate in the unconscious, layering on top of each other.
When the last drop effect occurs, an explosion occurs. The practice of helping such people shows that, firstly, there are people who are prone to accumulating the negative energy of micro and macrotraumas, and, secondly, rage is the last link in a wide range of negative feelings and emotions that, from our point of view, are included in such multicomponent emotion, like anger (Figure 1). Our opinion is confirmed by practice, and by the fact that in English the terms "anger" and "rage" are denoted by the same word "anger".
It is believed that rage is intense anger, manifested as unrestrained aggressive behavior. Rage can be constructive (when they furiously, with anger defend their point of view in a heated argument) and destructive (finding expression in violence, cruelty).
At the moment of rage, the amount of psychic energy and the level of excitement are so great that a person feels that he will literally be torn to pieces if he does not get rid of negative emotions and show them. There is a tendency to impulsive actions, a desire to attack the source of anger or show aggression.
According to P. Kutter (2004), anger and hostility can develop into anger, in which "the blood boils in the veins." A furious, enraged person loses his temper with a willingness to fall on any obstacle that stands in the way. The author distinguishes between constructive and destructive rage. "Righteous", "noble" rage helps in the struggle to achieve the goal. “Passionate” rage is characteristic of people who are passionately passionate about some business, who do not want to give in to anyone or in anything, who fiercely defend their offspring. Destructive rage manifests itself in violence, cruel deeds, torture and murder.
The success of the psychotherapy of rage and anger depends on the ability to analyze these phenomena. An attempt to arrange the ways of manifestation of anger on a conditional horizontal scale made it possible to single out two opposite poles of reacting to anger, which are associated with high and low levels of its manifestation:
1. With the complete suppression of anger (rage), a person is outwardly calm, balanced, his behavior does not irritate anyone because he does not express his displeasure in any way.
2. In the case of a high level of manifestation of aggression, a person “turns on with a half turn”, quickly gives out a reaction of anger with gestures, facial expressions, screams, etc.
Both of these extremes are very unattractive, the truth, as you know, is in the middle of this conditional scale and manifests itself as assertive behavior (the ability to satisfy one's needs without harming others).
I. Huberman rightly wrote about the need to keep these swings in balance, skillfully remarking that:
In a good argument, it is equally pitiful for both the fool and the wise man,
Because truth is like a stick, it always has two ends.
Hence the importance of the ability to balance the manifestations of anger, control your feelings, be able to be different in different situations. It is necessary to study how and in what situations the client most often gets angry and “breaks down”. It is important to diagnose his irrational beliefs and values, to realize how much he agrees with them, since beliefs are a very stable, rigid and conservative structure that is practically not realized and not questioned. At the slightest attempt to change them, there is the most severe resistance.
There are various ways of expressing anger in terms of intensity and degree of manifestation. The lower the intensity of this feeling, the longer the time of its experience.
Let's graphically represent the structural components of the manifestation of anger and consider them in more detail (Figure 1).
1. Discontent- the most mild and long-lasting version of the expression of anger, which may not be realized (I feel, but I do not realize). If anger is not manifested at the level of dissatisfaction, physical and psychological discomfort arises, accompanied by negative experiences that transform (at least) into resentment.
2. Resentment- a higher intensity feeling that can last for years. Openly, as a rule, only children express resentment.
According to Bleuler (1929), resentment manifests itself in ontogeny in children aged 5-11 months. Arises as an emotional reaction to undeserved humiliation and unfair treatment, hurting self-esteem.
Resentment as a reaction to failure easily arises in children with high self-esteem and the level of claims (Neimark MS, 1961). It manifests itself as emotional pain and grief, can remain hidden and either gradually passes or leads to the development of a plan of revenge on the offender. It can be experienced acutely in the form of anger and transform into aggressive actions.
3. When irritation visible reactions are added to the experienced state, especially non-verbal ones: sharpness of movements, high voice, autonomics (for example, slamming the door in case of discontent).
4. Outrage, indignation- Feelings of short duration. Their intensity is higher. At this stage of expressing anger, verbal manifestations are added to non-verbal manifestations (pronunciation of experiences begins).
5. Anger- the body begins to "demand its own", there is a desire to hit, throw, push, hit. Mind control is still great, but the person begins to go beyond what is permitted.
6. Rage- a short-term feeling with great destructive power. The mobilization of energy and excitement is so great that there is a feeling of a possible "explosion" if "the valve is not opened and the steam is not released." There is a tendency to impulsive actions, a readiness to attack the source of anger or to show aggression in verbal form. According to our observations, the experience of rage is present in the life experience of any person. Most people, having reached this state at least once, are so afraid of the consequences that they subsequently refuse any manifestations of anger at all.
Thus, the process of transformation of manifestations of anger, different in intensity and duration, can be represented as a chain: we do not notice discontent, we do not show resentment, we restrain indignation, anger, we accumulate aggression, we show aggression in the form of anger and rage with destructive and destructive consequences.
Ways of expressing anger can range from socially unacceptable(for example, to shoot the offender) to socially acceptable and safe. For the convenience of their use in practice, we will arrange the ways of expressing anger on some conditional ladder. On its top three steps there are socially permitted ways of expressing anger (to work out, to say, to show), on the rest, starting from the fourth, there are aggressive, unacceptable manifestations of aggression.
1. Work out the anger. When you realize that you are angry, but not angry, find a safe place and work off this feeling using intense physical exertion, walking, screaming, sex, etc.
3. "Pat" your face and express your feelings(for example, a state of irritation) with the help of facial expressions, gestures, demonstrating their displeasure.
4. Ignore(refuse to talk to the offender, answer his questions, etc.).
5. revenge. Revenge is a special form of hostile aggressiveness, which is characterized by a delay in the direct manifestation of aggression. Its goal is to repay the hurt, suffering. Often done unconsciously, at the moment of weakness of the offender. It is updated suddenly, by chance, is not realized and is verbalized by the phrase "it happened."
For example, a vegetarian husband returns from a business trip. The wife, who constantly speaks of her love for him, on the day of her husband's arrival buys and prepares meat for dinner, thereby expressing the true negative attitude towards him hidden in the unconscious.
6. Gossip- a relatively safe form of manifestation of anger, which allows you to "drain" negative energy so that it does not accumulate and is not directed in an undesirable direction. The desire to gossip from time to time is common to many people. However, it must be understood that the transformation of negative energy into gossip can subsequently sublimate into conflict.
7. The most socially unacceptable ways of displaying anger include rage in the form of insults, blows, and murders.
As you know, accumulated and unprocessed anger and irritation may not be realized and later manifest as bodily and psychosomatic symptoms.
In order to prevent such consequences in the process of psychotherapy, it is important to teach the client the ability to:
1. Notice and show discontent as soon as it appears (Figure 1) in order to relieve tension and prevent the transformation of the first level of manifestation of anger (discontent) into the fifth (anger) and sixth (rage).
2. Be aware of situations that cause anger and prevent their occurrence.
3. Learn to accept life as it is, and recognize the presence of injustice in it.
4. Learn to seek a compromise, conduct a dialogue, be able to look at the situation from the outside.
5. If there is no way to resolve the situation, be able to get away from it, guided by the principle “the best fight is the one that never happened”; look for other ways to solve the problem; transform anger into action.
6. Do not clarify the relationship at the peak of anger. It is impossible to be angry, angry and at the same time think rationally. Arguments during a quarrel are not perceived. Let the emotional storm die down, blow off steam, and only then clarify the situation. Express claims not to the personality of the partner, but to his behavior, events, mistakes in understanding.
7. Anger should not be hidden, it should be expressed congruently in socially acceptable ways, without aggressive manifestations.
8. Avoid excessive apologies for feelings and generalizations (in general, always, never, etc.), constantly reviving the rational judgment “I have the right to experience any feelings”, “I give myself the right to make mistakes.”
9. Accurately describe your own perception of the situation, circumstances, words that caused anger, while recognizing the right of the interlocutor to oppose your own perception to your attitude.
Practice shows that the success of the psychotherapy of anger and rage depends on taking into account the psychogenesis of these states, the causes of their occurrence, options for inadequate response and knowledge of socially acceptable ways of expressing them, different in intensity and degree of manifestation.
Bibliography:
1. Bleuler E. Affectivity, suggestibility and paranoia. Odessa, 1929.
2. Dmitrieva N.V. Psychological factors in the transformation of personal identity. Abstract of the dissertation on soisk.uch. doctoral degree in psychology. Novosibirsk. Publishing house of NGPU. 1996. 38 p.
3. Korolenko Ts.P., Dmitrieva N.V. Homo postmodernicus. Psychological and mental disorders of the postmodern world /monograph/. Novosibirsk: publishing house of NGPU, 2009. 230 p.
4. Korolenko Ts.P., Dmitrieva N.V. Sexuality in the postmodern world /monograph/. M.: Academic project; Culture, 2011. 406 p.
5. Kutter P. Love, hate, envy, jealousy. Psychoanalysis of passions. Translated from German by S.S. Pankov. St. Petersburg: B.S.K., 2004. 115 p.
6. Neimark M.S. Psychological analysis of emotional reactions of schoolchildren to difficulties in work // Questions of the psychology of schoolchildren's personality. M., 1961.
Information about authors:
Dmitrieva Natalia Vitalievna- Doctor of Psychology, Professor of the St. Petersburg State Institute of Psychology and Social Work,