Most importantly, the device is on the go! There are no problems around the city (except that without air conditioning in the summer it’s hot as hell). Many foreign cars are torn from traffic lights (especially those that do not suspect that they are participating in a competition). On the highway it's also normal. What speed you can develop on it depends only on your instinct of self-preservation. Personally, in those rare times when I accelerated it to 130, I caught myself not blinking, not moving and practically not breathing.
The car was not involved in the accident. But the front fenders are both a little dented. They probably beat me before. Although I also knocked once, to be honest, but very slowly. The left wing has an unpainted gray area. It really helps to detect a car in large parking lots and gives the beast a unique personality. On the body, there are some areas that can be considered normal. The body was completely changed in 2000, but you can’t tell from it.
The interior decoration was made according to someone's incomprehensible whim using linoleum. You'll have to live with this. Deep in the driver's seat (which has something burst inside, making it lower than it should be) there is some very sharp part that sometimes digs painfully into the lower back. I still haven’t figured out what this part is, why it’s there and how this can even happen.
The passenger door periodically sticks. The alarm key fob is in the Achtung, the plastic above the main button fell out a long time ago, so you have to poke it with the key. But this is not difficult, because the key is always separate from the key fob, because the plastic ear also broke long ago. When asked about replacing the key fob, the service center laughs disrespectfully.
I haven't smoked in the car for the last year and a half. Before that I smoked, a lot. But no more than the previous owner and his many friends - at the same time, all together, in winter, with the windows tightly closed. The uncharacteristically gray ceiling will not hide this.
The disks are bad.
The stove is a hellish crucible - it works in winter, so don’t worry, mom. But unfortunately, the hot air comes from below and in the summer, when the heater is turned off, and if you press more than 110 on the highway in sandals, then in small ways it burns the toes on your right foot.
There are strange wiring from the mounting block that even my electrician does not understand the first time. I can’t explain why some of them were made, but I definitely remember that without them something wouldn’t work. By the way, it is better to change the mounting block itself, some contacts are tucked in with matches and twigs, this is not entirely correct and not very safe.
I'd love to say that all my love and care went into this car, but that's not the case. It contains only hatred and contempt. Without rummaging through the car’s structure, I opened the hood either to add some liquid that had disappeared the day before without a trace or apparent reason, or to look at the engine in bewilderment when the car suddenly stopped.
Who needs it? An excellent simulator for beginners, which will make driving any car made after 1982 a welcome relief. For rough, wear-and-tear work. Loaded under the roof with construction materials and with a sweaty hard-working man at the wheel, this car will look more correct than with a student girl whose phone costs about the same. For enthusiasts who are happy to live most of the day in the garage. The scope for creativity in this car is limitless; almost everything can be repaired and changed.
Cool pimp-mobile for a real pimp! A battle-hardened pirate schooner with a stern disposition! A samurai devoted to his master until his last breath. As Hatori Hanzo said when handing over his best sword to the Black Mamba, “Even if the Buddha himself gets in your way, he will be defeated!”
Sellers attract attention to their listings as best they can. Both poetry and prose are used! Sometimes it turns out very funny.
"Super Passat"
Buy a Passat B3, the car is super, see for yourself:
Radio tape recorder, doors, stove, first aid kit,
Steering wheel, pedals, window and herringbone air freshener.
Gear switch, take your friends for a ride on it.
And the engine is what you need - it will be your reward!
Ninety mares in it, pedal to the floor - and the trace is gone.
He plows without interruption, plows like you know no grief.
I have never been hit with a bat, the technical inspection passes immediately.
In general, the car is just a treasure, buy a Passat as soon as possible.
My Passat 3200 is worth it, but bargaining is always appropriate!
Back to the Future
The car is completely new. Was in 1986. Since then, its sole owner, an 80-year-old nun, has used it exclusively for trips around the covered grounds of the monastery. During the bidding at the auction, two Arab sheikhs and Lady Gaga fought for the right to own this vehicle. A forced 1.8-liter engine produces 450 beaver power and consumes 2 liters of intergalactic fuel per 100 light-years of travel. New tires with a self-healing nanoprotector - the more you drive, the deeper the tread. During operation, the car itself produces oil, antifreeze, brake fluid and cognac thanks to the introduction of biotechnology into the crystal lattice of the metal using the Wasserman method. Ashtray with self-cleaning, finishing and archiving of unchewed gum. Built-in interface for searching for parking spaces with the function of “negotiating” with the traffic police. Hydromassage chairs with bidet and pneumatic plunger. Interior made of Norilsk Arctic fox leather. Sign up for the acquisition queue by email, indicating your place in the Forbes ranking and the volume of gold and foreign exchange assets.
The car is not running, but...
Selling VAZ-2101. The floors are overcooked, the wings are cut off to allow wiring underneath. There are thresholds, but they require repairs, but you can drive like that. With icons on the dashboard. The car is not running... In order for it to be running, you need to put on the wiring, check the marks, and pray to all the gods. I have the documents, but I’m ready to consider selling the car for parts. I won’t remove the “right lever and left hub,” don’t blame me. Adequate bargaining in exchange for adequate dialogue.
Don't miss your chance!
For sale is the good old, simple and reliable VAZ-2109. The car, of course, is not in perfect condition, but it’s worth the money. It goes long distance with ease, and at a cruising speed of 130 km/h. Consumption is about six liters on the highway. There was no smoking in the car, as evidenced by the ashtray with coins. A car from the cultural capital, it has never heard profanity. There is central locking and the alarm system is disabled, since car thieves are not interested in such cars. On the contrary, if you leave it open overnight, they’ll throw a couple of hundred more into the salon, they say, on, my friend, on a new “Christmas tree.” The traffic cops stubbornly ignore this car, thinking: “What to take from it? And it obviously won’t go faster than 90 km/h...” They are deeply mistaken, unaware of the hidden capabilities of the car. The oil was changed regularly and on time. The appetite for oil is moderate, and there is practically no need to top up. Standard equipment, and these are: super frameless wipers, headlights, working washer, two sets of keys, spare wheel, jack, five-liter canister. The spark plugs and wires were recently changed, as a result of which the unit remembered its youth and began to run 140 km/h! Why am I shocked myself? Starts in any frost! For a modest amount you can buy a reliable and loyal friend who, without attracting attention, will take you to any point in the world where the road lies! Do not miss your chance!
About Toyota in verse
Should we part with Toyota Ipsum in prose?!
With her, seven-seater? God forbid!
At this time, it may be the best,
Economical, for a large family!
Japanese god in two thousand and four
He stretched out his creative hand over her,
Having created a masterpiece that is both powerful and comfortable,
She is both a “horse” and a “quivering doe”!
Unpretentiousness with quality in the model
The Japanese managed to connect
Nowadays there are very few of them, in fact.
Toyota Ipsum! What can I say?!
Real car for traveling
160 mighty horses!
Protection against road accidents -
There are a lot of design ideas in it!
B. Baibosunov lifted everyone's spirits
I'm selling my seven! The purchase, frankly speaking, is dubious, but the price is purely symbolic. 40 thousand rubles and the corvette is yours! Year of manufacture 1996, condition questionable. The mileage is indicated on the board as 52,000, but this should be understood as 152,000. And to be completely honest, then 252,000.
An electronic ignition has been installed, the armored wires have recently been changed, the distributor has been adjusted, the oil has been changed, and a new muffler has been installed. I’m giving it away along with a cd/mp3/usb radio, two speakers and a pair of brand new all-season Kama Euro tires on the rear wheels.
Most importantly, the device is on the go! There are no problems around the city (except that without air conditioning in the summer it’s hot as hell). Many foreign cars are torn from traffic lights (especially those that do not suspect that they are participating in a competition). On the highway it's also normal. What speed you can develop on it depends only on your instinct of self-preservation. Personally, in those rare times when I accelerated it to 130, I caught myself not blinking, not moving and practically not breathing.
The car was not involved in the accident. But the front fenders are both a little dented. They probably beat me before. Although I also knocked once, to be honest, but very slowly, I didn’t crumple the wings. The left wing has an unpainted gray area. It really helps to detect a car in large parking lots and gives the beast a unique personality. On the body, there are some areas that can be considered normal. The body was completely changed in 2000, but you can’t tell from it.
The interior decoration was made according to someone's incomprehensible whim using linoleum. You'll have to live with this. Deep in the driver's seat (which has something burst inside, making it lower than it should be) there is some very sharp part that sometimes digs painfully into the lower back. I still haven’t figured out what this part is, why it’s there and how this can even happen.
There is an alarm and central locking. The passenger door periodically sticks. The keychain is in the Achtung, the plastic above the main button fell out a long time ago, so you have to poke it with the key. But this is not difficult, because the key is always separate from the key fob, because the plastic ear also broke long ago. In response to a question about replacing the key fob with a similar one, the alarm operators laugh disrespectfully.
I haven't smoked in the car for the last year and a half. Before that I smoked, a lot. But no more than the previous owner and his many friends - at the same time, all together, in winter, with the windows tightly closed. The uncharacteristically gray ceiling will not hide this.
The disks are bad.
The stove is a hellish crucible - it works in winter, so don’t worry, mom. But unfortunately, the hot air comes from below and in the summer, when the heater is turned off, and if you press more than 110 on the highway in sandals, then in small ways it burns the toes on your right foot.
There are strange wiring from the mounting block that even my electrician does not understand the first time. I can’t explain why some of them were made, but I definitely remember that without them something wouldn’t work. By the way, it is better to change the mounting block itself, some contacts are tucked in with matches and twigs, this is not entirely correct and not very safe.
I'd love to say that all my love and care went into this car, but that's not the case. It contains only hatred and contempt. Without rummaging through the car’s structure, I opened the hood either to add some liquid that had disappeared the day before without a trace or apparent reason, or to look at the engine in bewilderment when the car suddenly stopped.
Who needs it? An excellent simulator for beginners, which will make driving any car made after 1982 a welcome relief. For rough, wear-and-tear work. Loaded under the roof with construction materials and with a sweaty hard-working man at the wheel, this car will look more correct than with a student girl whose phone costs about the same. For enthusiasts who are happy to live most of the day in the garage. The scope for creativity in this car is limitless; almost everything can be repaired and changed.
Cool pimp-mobile for a real pimp! A battle-hardened pirate schooner with a stern disposition! A samurai devoted to his master until his last breath. As Hatori Hanzo said when handing over his best sword to the Black Mamba, “Even if the Buddha himself gets in your way, he will be defeated!”
On the body, there are remnants of areas that can be considered normal. The interior decoration was made according to someone's incomprehensible whim using linoleum. You'll have to live with this. But the chairs and sofa have a pleasant rocking effect coupled with the satisfying smell of unleaded 80-octane gasoline.
Deep in the driver's seat there is some very sharp part that sometimes digs painfully into the lower back. I still haven’t figured out what this part is, why it’s there and how this can even happen, but it fucking digs into my ass just when gasoline fumes and the intermittent snoring of the engine make me fall asleep!
There is a button to turn on the air conditioner, this is the only part of the air conditioner that has survived to this day, but it has never worked (probably because there is no air conditioner included).
There is also an on-board computer; I suspect that it was its hidden artificial intelligence (and not me) that decided when the car would start and when it would stall.
Music - cassette stereo receiver URAL! Bomb!!! He yells so loudly that your ears are blocked, even if you are lying in the trunk. Sometimes, when turning on reverse, the magnetic head does not flip, which leads to the effect of playing in reverse (opera parts sound especially funny).
The stove is a HURRICANE!!! - the mouth of Sauron - works in winter so that mother does not worry. But, unfortunately, hot air presses from below, and in the summer, when
the heater is turned off and if you press more than 110 on the highway, and you are wearing sandals, your toes are severely burned by hot antifreeze on the right foot of the driver and left passenger. So in the summer it’s better for everyone to wear rubber boots...
I haven't smoked in the car for the last month and a half. and before that I smoked and drank a lot, but no more than the previous owner (my dad) and his many friends - at the same time, all together, and in winter too, with the windows tightly closed.
I washed off the carbon deposits, but the dullness remained (it’s better not to read to children).
The ceiling is uncharacteristically gray with streaks, allowing you to hide fingerprints and blood smears.
A very big plus - there is no muffler, it makes a roar like from hell! Because of this, even courageous bikers are scared and stay away from you, which in turn ensures a comfortable ride on the highway.
Another of the most important advantages of this car is that traffic police inspectors categorically do not want to stop it. And even when you pass in front of them with your seat belts not fastened, and the low beams are off, and the “fak” in your fist, they just look at you with a sympathetic glance... What is the mystery, I still don’t understand...
They are also very afraid of cutting it off by expensive and not very foreign cars, probably because of the sticker “1,000,000 km. No major repairs" on the sides. In connection with the above, sometimes you feel like you are in a presidential motorcade, until a sharp metal part in the seat brings you back down to earth.
There are no documents - only a recycling certificate.
There is no shortage of talents in Russian land! A resident of Yekaterinburg named Alexander is selling his VAZ-2107 car, popularly known as a “seven”, and he does it in the Ural way: sternly and with fire. The announcement of the sale created a sensation on the Internet: the wonderful style and sincerity with which Alexander describes his miracle car cannot leave anyone indifferent. This is not just an announcement, it is an ode to the Russian automobile industry!
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When one of my buddies was selling his seven, he said: “Together with it, the feeling of confidence in tomorrow’s repair leaves me.” This is a direct hint at the condition of the car. The price of a car is directly dependent on its condition. I warned you right away.
To begin with, I will give data from the vehicle title: VAZ-2107, manufactured in 1999, engine 2103, one and a half liters, 72 horsepower of half-dead nags, five-speed gearbox.
The car drives; The reason for this is Russian heroism. This car, I’ll tell you a secret, is from the anniversary edition dedicated to the 56th anniversary of the Battle of Kursk, and it is made of the same metal that ours used to beat the Germans on Lake Peipsi, so in places it is frankly rusty.
The Germans, however, snapped, and there is confirmation of this on the rear right wing.
I won’t lie: they smoked in the car. There is no other way to do it. This is basically a smoke machine; Through a hole in the rear of the body, exhaust gases go straight into the trunk, and from there a clever system of air ducts (holes for speakers) delivers them not just anywhere, but directly into the cabin, where the driver fully enjoys the whole gamut of aromas of burning oil and gasoline.
They say: the car is a beast! So, if we compare this particular device with the animal kingdom, then outwardly it is a cow that miraculously survived after a fight with a pride of lions.
But, oddly enough, the wiring in the car is intact. All the signals work, all the lights are on, the electric heater fan generally works like crazy, especially in the summer.
The car, of course, is not for the faint-hearted: in winter, felt boots and mittens will come in handy, and in summer you will call it nothing more than a barbecue. There are other names for it, but for such words my profile will soon be blocked.
In just a few months of owning this chaise, I managed to change the fuel pump, tie rod ends, brake cylinders and outlook on life. If I am driving any other car, I am in a hurry somewhere, I want to be the first to leave the intersection; while driving this car, I understand that everything is dust and decay, and if you drive more quietly, maybe you’ll arrive.
Yes, by the way, about speed. Personally, I once accelerated this car to one hundred and twenty kilometers per hour, but at the same time a Catholic choir was sounding in my ears, pictures of the Last Judgment were in my eyes, and my lips were silently whispering “Our Father,” although I was, in fact, convinced atheist.
Included with this car, I am giving away a radio and a pair of speakers, which in terms of quality (design, technology) are in no way inferior to this fiend of automotive hell, devouring souls, energy, time and seven and a half liters of gasoline for a hundred miles with the gentlest touch of the gas pedal.
Frankly, I took this car in order to make candy out of it; but last week, in a traffic jam on the highway, she made a kebab out of me. I won’t say that I’m disappointed with it, but I also can’t admire the low cost of spare parts, especially when I find myself in a car shop every day.